In the car this evening...
Kid Sister: Spell xanthosis.
Me: X-a-n-t-h-o-s-i-s.
Kid Sister: Correct. Now you spell loghorrea.
The Boyfriend: L-o-g-h-o-r-r-e-a.
Kid Sister. Correct. Now spell towncenter.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
You Pick Two Review: Panera Cinnamon Crumb Coffee Cake
A few days ago I tried Panera's new bakery item, a cinnamon crumb coffee cake. Panera's website describes the new confection as "an old-fashioned butter cream coffee cake, swirled with cinnamon and finished with a butter crumb topping."
The Boyfriend and I both found the coffee cake a little disappointing. The cake tasted too floury and lacked pizazz.
I tried my own version of a cinnamon crumb coffee cake and was very happy with the results. I combined a recipe for a cinnamon swirl bundt cake from allrecipes.com and a recipe for a crumb topping from the Pioneer Woman's cooking blog. The recipes in their original contexts can be found here and here.
My edited versions of the recipes appear below:
For the cake:
Ingredients
- 1 cup sour cream
- 3/4 cup butter
- 1 1/2 cups white sugar
- 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 3 eggs
- 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 cup white sugar
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease one 9 x 13 pan. [A 10 inch bundt pan would also work and would look prettier. I was concerned about my ability to flip the bundt pan after baking, so I used a 9 x 13 instead].
- Cream 1 1/2 cups white sugar together with eggs until well blended. Add sour cream and butter or margarine and beat well. Add flour, baking soda, and baking powder and mix well. Stir in vanilla.
- Mix the remaining 1/4 cup of white sugar with the cinnamon.
- Pour half of the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle generously with the cinnamon sugar mixture. Cover with remaining cake batter.
- Bake at 350 F (205 degrees C) for 30 mins or until a toothpick comes out clean.
1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick or 4 ounces) butter, melted
1 1/2 cups flour
Directions:
To make crumbs in a large bowl, whisk sugars, spices and salt into melted butter until smooth. Then, add flour with a spatula or wooden spoon. It will look and feel like a solid dough. Leave it pressed together in the bottom of the bowl and set aside.
After making the cake, break topping mixture into big crumbs, about 1/2 inch to 3/4 inch in size. They do not have to be uniform, but make sure most are around that size. Sprinkle over cake before baking.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Cookies and Taxes
I just sat down to have a delicious dinner of cookies and milk, a propensity I share with my grandmother and Santa Claus.
I have been studying Federal Income Taxation for hours. My studying consists of me slogging through tax computation problems, getting them wrong, then trying to figure out why.
I opened a box of Pepperidge Farm "Chocolate Cookie Collection." Dripping, chocolately script on the box declared "Seven varieties of pure chocolate indulgence!" But, there were eight small compartments, each with four cookies.
"Thirty-four," said my tax-toiling brain. "I mean, thirty two. I would've gotten it. I'll have a calculator for the exam."
"Right," I said back. "But there are only supposed be to seven varieties. There are eight compartments. I think I got some extra cookies."
I squinted at the pictures of the cookie varieties on the side panel and let my brain try to make sense of it. It read:
"Except as otherwise provided in this side panel, for purposes of this assortment, the term "cookie" shall not exclude, but is not limited to, the following items:
1. Double Chocolate Milano;
2. Lisbon;
3. Tahiti;
4. Geneva;
a) in taxable years subsequent to 2009, the tax code shall recognize that the "Geneva," defined as any cookie, which is both
i) rich chocolate, and
ii) covered in crunchy pecans
is a sub-optimal cookie due to the presence of nuts. It will be subject to an ACC (average cookie consumption) phaseout for taxpayers whose ACC exceeds the threshold amount as defined by the Treasury Department of 50 cookies per annum and a 1/3 phaseout of the phaseout for taxpapers whose ACC exceeds 100 cookies per annum (unless said taxpaper is a qualified dependent, in which case the threshold ACC is 365 cookies per annum).
5. Orleans;
6. Black and White Milano;
-Cross Reference Reg. 350
7. Dark Chocolate Bordeaux;
Reg. 350
Some taxpayers have complained that receipt of the Black and White Milano was a sham transaction, as the Black and White Milano is simply a Double Chocolate Milano sandwich cookie without the chocolate holding the two pieces together. Normally loathe to look into the terms of an arms-length transaction, courts have held that the Black and White Milano is an embarrassment of a cookie, second only to the Geneva. Taxpayers are entitled to deduct the cost of cookie boxes which contain both the Black and White Milano and the Geneva, to the extent that the aggregated cost of these boxes in one year exceeds 7.5% of the taxpaper's adjusted gross income."
"Thanks," I said to my brain. "That was really thorough. But I still don't know which cookie isn't supposed to be here."
So I took out one of each cookie and I lined them up in order, according to the array on the side panel.
Sure enough, I have eight Genevas.
I'm applying for a refund.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Final exams start this week...
...so I may be a little quiet.
My responsibilities are:
1. Law and Poverty (20 page paper, done)
2. Museums and Collecting (15 pages into a paper that will be between 20 and 30)
3. Canon Law of Marriage Exam (Saturday. My mom didn't believe me when I told her that. "But it's the weekend!" Haha).
4. Trusts and Estates Exam (I'll worry about that sometime in the intermediate future, because all I can think about write now is...)
5. Federal Income Tax Exam (Friday. PANIC).
Oh, and did I mention that The Great Cooking Competition is Thursday, the day before law school exams begin? I smell a rat....
My responsibilities are:
1. Law and Poverty (20 page paper, done)
2. Museums and Collecting (15 pages into a paper that will be between 20 and 30)
3. Canon Law of Marriage Exam (Saturday. My mom didn't believe me when I told her that. "But it's the weekend!" Haha).
4. Trusts and Estates Exam (I'll worry about that sometime in the intermediate future, because all I can think about write now is...)
5. Federal Income Tax Exam (Friday. PANIC).
Oh, and did I mention that The Great Cooking Competition is Thursday, the day before law school exams begin? I smell a rat....
Friday, December 4, 2009
Article of the Day: December 4, 2009
Insightful article about the moral lessons in Jane Austen's novels. Read it here.
I also liked this one about Twilight and feminism. Read it here.
I also liked this one about Twilight and feminism. Read it here.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Reality TV Update
I noticed that MTV has changed the wording of its "Jersey Shore" promo to replace a potentially offensive term. Discussed here.
Also: Tiger Woods was dating a former "Tool Academy" girl? Huh.
Ugh, how disappointing to see Johnny Bananas defeat Dunbar on the "The Ruins" tonight. Worse yet was seeing him turn on Susie. I wish there were a way that Susie and the Challengers could both win.
Also: Tiger Woods was dating a former "Tool Academy" girl? Huh.
Ugh, how disappointing to see Johnny Bananas defeat Dunbar on the "The Ruins" tonight. Worse yet was seeing him turn on Susie. I wish there were a way that Susie and the Challengers could both win.
Monday, November 30, 2009
I Dreamt that I Had to Answer the Following Exam Question
Question: How have your three years at Notre Dame Law School compared to your expectations? You may consider the effects of three years of unbroken law school construction, reduced morale from three losing football seasons, and the health of the legal job market in your answer. Extra credit will be given for an in-depth discussion of the effects of administrative instability, with particular emphasis on staff turnover in the Career Services Office. To aid in your discussion of curriculum, please find attached the course offerings for Spring 2010.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Article of the Day: November 28, 2009
Parents often bring their screaming children onto airplanes. Once in a great while, the parent and child are asked to get off. What happens next? Who gets an apology from whom?
Read the article here.
Read the article here.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Haiku Review: A Friend Helps Me Puzzle Out "Glee"
I have to wonder
I like High School Musical
Why don't I like this?
I like High School Musical
Why don't I like this?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Hair-Drying Review: "Backstabbing for Beginners: My Crash Course in International Diplomacy"
I don't have a lot of time to read for pleasure. If I'm reading, I should be reading a case -- or the tax code.
But once every two days or so, I find five minutes to crawl through a book for pleasure as I blow-dry my hair.
My latest crawl is through "Backstabbing for Beginners: My Crash Course in Diplomacy" by Michael Soussan. It was a Christmas present from my dad. "This will make me righteously indignant," I joked when he gave it to me. I was right, but for the wrong reasons.
The book is an insider's look at the UN Oil-for-Food Program in Iraq. As we all know, the program turned out to be rife with corruption. I thought I would feel indignant as the good name of the UN, an organization I have a soft spot for after years of high school Model United Nations simulations, would be callously -- if justly -- dragged through the mud.
Well, I'm righteous. And I'm indignant. But mostly because Michael Soussan got to publish a book. He gets to teach international affairs. And yet he -- and his editors -- let mistakes like this get by all of them:
"[On Kofi Annan's 'Hammarskjold moment'] in reference to the first secretary general of the United Nations, who, for lack of a more brilliant successor, remains venerated to this day" (p. 161).
I would like to spend a moment on the factual and stylistic inaccuracies of that statement. There are at least three.
1. Dag Hammarskjold was the second United Nations Secretary-General. There have only been eight in all; if Soussan had learned the name of one Secretary-General each year he worked at the UN, he would probably know them all.
2. Secretary-General is written using a hyphen.
3. Perhaps Hammarskjold received the Nobel Peace Prize, the only one ever given posthumously, simply for lack of a more brilliant successor. When JFK called Hammarskjold "the greatest statesman of our century," he meant to say "he'll do until someone else comes along." It's hard to believe that Hammarskjold died on a UN mission in Northern Rhodesia, serving out his second term as the most active Secretary-General ever, only to be relegated to a snarky punch line in a book like this.
"Father Benjamin thought that the most proper way to proceed would be to involve Pope Jean Paul II himself in their scheme" (p. 176).
I thought that this was certainly a typo. But there he was again, further down the page, "Pope Jean Paul II," and finally, in the index: "Jean Paul II (pope)."
C'est la vie.
But once every two days or so, I find five minutes to crawl through a book for pleasure as I blow-dry my hair.
My latest crawl is through "Backstabbing for Beginners: My Crash Course in Diplomacy" by Michael Soussan. It was a Christmas present from my dad. "This will make me righteously indignant," I joked when he gave it to me. I was right, but for the wrong reasons.
The book is an insider's look at the UN Oil-for-Food Program in Iraq. As we all know, the program turned out to be rife with corruption. I thought I would feel indignant as the good name of the UN, an organization I have a soft spot for after years of high school Model United Nations simulations, would be callously -- if justly -- dragged through the mud.
Well, I'm righteous. And I'm indignant. But mostly because Michael Soussan got to publish a book. He gets to teach international affairs. And yet he -- and his editors -- let mistakes like this get by all of them:
"[On Kofi Annan's 'Hammarskjold moment'] in reference to the first secretary general of the United Nations, who, for lack of a more brilliant successor, remains venerated to this day" (p. 161).
I would like to spend a moment on the factual and stylistic inaccuracies of that statement. There are at least three.
1. Dag Hammarskjold was the second United Nations Secretary-General. There have only been eight in all; if Soussan had learned the name of one Secretary-General each year he worked at the UN, he would probably know them all.
2. Secretary-General is written using a hyphen.
3. Perhaps Hammarskjold received the Nobel Peace Prize, the only one ever given posthumously, simply for lack of a more brilliant successor. When JFK called Hammarskjold "the greatest statesman of our century," he meant to say "he'll do until someone else comes along." It's hard to believe that Hammarskjold died on a UN mission in Northern Rhodesia, serving out his second term as the most active Secretary-General ever, only to be relegated to a snarky punch line in a book like this.
"Father Benjamin thought that the most proper way to proceed would be to involve Pope Jean Paul II himself in their scheme" (p. 176).
I thought that this was certainly a typo. But there he was again, further down the page, "Pope Jean Paul II," and finally, in the index: "Jean Paul II (pope)."
C'est la vie.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
True Life: True Life!
Last night I caught an episode of MTV's "True Life" called "I Can't Leave my Boyfriend."
The episode featured 20-year-old Grace and her attempts to leave her 41-year-old boyfriend, Hangman (pictured).
Before writing this review, I found Hangman's blog and read his reaction to the episode. He went through familiar motions: he referenced the cutting room floor, defended the parts of his relationship with Grace that viewers didn't get to see, and finally had the usual compliments for "haters."
Then I asked myself: what could possibly be on the cutting room floor that would change how I felt about this relationship? What that I "didn't get to see" would make this better?
So, without further ado, my ten favorite moments of this episode and Hangman's blog:
1. Grace describing Hangman as "10 out of 10 good-looking."
2. Grace, sick of staying in and eating take-out Chinese food every night, implores Hangman to take her on a real date. He takes her to the Chinese restaurant that they order from every night.
3. At the restaurant, Hangman orders for her.
4. Grace: I may move back to Pennsylvania. Hangman: No.
5. Grace talking in baby-talk constantly.
6. On Hangman's 41st birthday, Grace gets to meet his mom for the first time. I got to discover that Hangman still lives at home.
7. Hangman: Top hats run in my family.
8. This over-capitalized gem from Hangman's blog: "Fortunately my artwork is admired and I have an International reputation. My work is shown in galleries from here to across the Seas [...] Some people might even go so far to say that I am the coolest person they have ever met."
9. Despite complaining bitterly about the reality TV process, you can find Hangman, not just on "True Life," but auditioning for "I Want to Work for Diddy." Sorry, once you have actively sought out the reality TV path, you lose the right to complain about it.
10. On his blog, Hangman asks his "fans" to "pray for a spin-off."
I found some videos from the episode here.
The episode featured 20-year-old Grace and her attempts to leave her 41-year-old boyfriend, Hangman (pictured).
Before writing this review, I found Hangman's blog and read his reaction to the episode. He went through familiar motions: he referenced the cutting room floor, defended the parts of his relationship with Grace that viewers didn't get to see, and finally had the usual compliments for "haters."
Then I asked myself: what could possibly be on the cutting room floor that would change how I felt about this relationship? What that I "didn't get to see" would make this better?
So, without further ado, my ten favorite moments of this episode and Hangman's blog:
1. Grace describing Hangman as "10 out of 10 good-looking."
2. Grace, sick of staying in and eating take-out Chinese food every night, implores Hangman to take her on a real date. He takes her to the Chinese restaurant that they order from every night.
3. At the restaurant, Hangman orders for her.
4. Grace: I may move back to Pennsylvania. Hangman: No.
5. Grace talking in baby-talk constantly.
6. On Hangman's 41st birthday, Grace gets to meet his mom for the first time. I got to discover that Hangman still lives at home.
7. Hangman: Top hats run in my family.
8. This over-capitalized gem from Hangman's blog: "Fortunately my artwork is admired and I have an International reputation. My work is shown in galleries from here to across the Seas [...] Some people might even go so far to say that I am the coolest person they have ever met."
9. Despite complaining bitterly about the reality TV process, you can find Hangman, not just on "True Life," but auditioning for "I Want to Work for Diddy." Sorry, once you have actively sought out the reality TV path, you lose the right to complain about it.
10. On his blog, Hangman asks his "fans" to "pray for a spin-off."
I found some videos from the episode here.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Project Runway Finale: Haiku Review
Nice hats, Irina.
Carol Hannah, you were robbed.
Back to Bravo, please?
Carol Hannah, you were robbed.
Back to Bravo, please?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My Ten Most Hated Reality TV Characters, Part 2 of 2
5. Spencer Pratt from MTV's "The Hills." What more can be said about Spencer?
Worst moment: Every moment.
4. Charla from Fox's "Paradise Hotel." Poor, awkward Dave loved vain, empty-headed Charla with a love too pure for this show. And speaking of poor Dave, in a cruel twist of fortune, all of Dave's masterful planning managed to land Charla in the final two with the option to split her cash prize with Dave -- an option she declined. Dave went home broke and broken-hearted.
Worst moment: "Pinkie swear is my middle name," the nonsensical assurance Charla used to secure her alliance with Dave. Time for a new middle name, I guess.
3. Wendy Pepper from Bravo's "Project Runway." No one told Wendy that she was on a competition reality show based on talent. She schemed her way through the first season of this show, attempting to form an alliance with her apartment-mates (an alliance! on Project Runway!), to exploit the weaknesses of her fellow competitors (remember the chilling scene between Wendy and Vanessa in the laundry room?), and outright lied and sabotaged. If she had spent less time sabotaging and more time making nice clothes, she might have stood a chance and gotten a makeover out of the deal (see above photo).
Worst moment: Encouraging her five-year-old daughter to lie to Tim Gunn.
2. Omarosa from NBC's "The Apprentice." Omarosa falls into the Spencer Pratt category of "what more can be said?" Her antics are already legendary. I'll just say that she -- like Danielle Staub -- refuses to accept consequences or to look at herself or her actions in an objective light.
Worst moment: How to choose from among the following gems: lying about her experience working for the White House, losing Jessica Simpson and then lying about that, or lying about having a concussion in order to avoid working on a show all about ... working?
1. Arian from VH1's "Tough Love." On a show where makeovers and luxurious dates are provided to eight regular women in exchange for their willingness to play along with innocuous dating rules ("be polite," "be yourself,"), this bad-girl refused to play nice. Her shocking and self-destructive behavior got her in trouble with the show's host, match-maker Steve Ward. When he rightly told her that her aggressively promiscous behavior could someday land her in a dangerous situation with a stranger, she decided it was time to start throwing suitcases down the stairs.
Worst moment: When the girls' families visited, Arian bad-mouthed Steve to her mother repeatedly, while defending her own, spiraling-out-of-control actions. Steve was later in the uncomfortable position of having to tell Arian's mother some of her daughter's recent misbehavior. Steve used adult terminology for some of Arian's antics and both mother and daugther dissolved into giggles, leaving Steve with nothing to do but walk away in disgust.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
My Ten Most Hated Reality TV Characters, Part 1 of 2
In honor of the premiere of VH1's "Tough Love" Season Two, I am presenting a list of my ten most hated reality tv characters.
10. Antonio Sabato, Jr. from VH1's "My Antonio." Reality dating shows work when you are rooting for likeable people to get together. They also work as a joke when the "prize" is Flava Flav. They don't work when the prize is allegedly likeable, but actually a nauseating joke in the form of Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Worst moment: Every time he looked into the camera and smugly announced, "And the winner...will receive...a date....with ME."
9. Sister Patterson (aka New York's mom) from VH1's "Flavor of Love" Seasons One and Two and "I Love New York" Seasons One and Two, and maybe some other New York spin-offs but who can keep track? A sure way to land on my most hated list is to trick me into liking you in the beginning, only to go completely off the rails later. Sister Patterson first appeared as a voice of reason, responding to her daughter's Stockholm Syndrome-fueled cries of "I love that man!" by cutting to the point: "That is not a man." Later, though, Sister Patterson devolved into madness, screaming obscenities at anyone in earshot, belittling her husband with enough fierceness to make Kate Gosselin cringe, and eventually coming to blows with the man himself, Flava Flav.
Worst moment: Pretending to have been diagnosed with a serious medical condition "so rare they don't have a name for it yet" in order to persuade her daughter to leave the show. It didn't work.
8. Evan Starkman, veteran of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge," currently appearing on "The Ruins." There is nothing good about Evan. He's stupid. He's a bully. He mistakes being a big guy with being a good competitor. Worst of all, I couldn't figure out what original Real World or Road Rules season he was on. He seemed to just appear out of nowhere on the challenge circuit, spewing arrogance. Sure enough, Wikipedia let me know that he was never on a real season, instead he was brought in to the challenges through the "Fresh Meat" season. Spare me.
Worst moment: As a drunk and out of control Tonya begins to attack Veronica, Wes leaps from the couch to seperate them. Evan holds Wes back, prioritizing his own ambitions in the game, which probably included the elimination of both Tonya and Veronica for fighting, over the safety of his teammates.
7. Matt Roloff from TLC's "Little People, Big World." I feel guilty writing this entry because Matt Roloff has a charming family, particularly his long-suffering wife Amy. But, upon reflection, I was forced to ask myself, who should feel more guilty? And the answer is Matt Roloff, for subjecting his family, friends, and guests to the dangerous products of his misguided ambitions. Watching the episode where his young son Jacob was nearly crushed to death by Matt's ill-advised trebuchet sent me once again to Wikipedia. I wanted to read about Matt Roloff to get a clue as to how any parent could have such terrible judgment. Then I read about Mattt's multiple DUIs. And I have nothing else to say about him.
Worst moment: Trebuchet.
6. Danielle Staub from Bravo's "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Another good way to land on this list is to refuse to accept the consequences of your actions. Danielle, a former model, associated with members of a drug cartel, becoming an accessory to multiple drug and kidnapping charges. She was arrested. Charges against her were dropped, however, assumedly as part of a plea bargain. In Danielle-world, though, a plea bargain equals an exoneration. So don't question her judgment or her appropriateness as a babysitter -- or Danielle will accuse you of being a vicious gossip. After her arrest Danielle went on to a lead a promiscuous life, was engaged nineteen times by her own count, and had two daughters. Even her daughters have so little respect for their mother's wild lifestyle that when Danielle turns to her teen-aged daughter in frustration and asks why all the men in her life leave her, the daughter replies "they only want you for the goodies." Out of the mouth of babes.
Worst moment: "I need to have tables thrown at me because (searches desperately for a non-incriminating way to finish her own sentence), because... (searches some more) because I had a book written about me?"
10. Antonio Sabato, Jr. from VH1's "My Antonio." Reality dating shows work when you are rooting for likeable people to get together. They also work as a joke when the "prize" is Flava Flav. They don't work when the prize is allegedly likeable, but actually a nauseating joke in the form of Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Worst moment: Every time he looked into the camera and smugly announced, "And the winner...will receive...a date....with ME."
9. Sister Patterson (aka New York's mom) from VH1's "Flavor of Love" Seasons One and Two and "I Love New York" Seasons One and Two, and maybe some other New York spin-offs but who can keep track? A sure way to land on my most hated list is to trick me into liking you in the beginning, only to go completely off the rails later. Sister Patterson first appeared as a voice of reason, responding to her daughter's Stockholm Syndrome-fueled cries of "I love that man!" by cutting to the point: "That is not a man." Later, though, Sister Patterson devolved into madness, screaming obscenities at anyone in earshot, belittling her husband with enough fierceness to make Kate Gosselin cringe, and eventually coming to blows with the man himself, Flava Flav.
Worst moment: Pretending to have been diagnosed with a serious medical condition "so rare they don't have a name for it yet" in order to persuade her daughter to leave the show. It didn't work.
8. Evan Starkman, veteran of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge," currently appearing on "The Ruins." There is nothing good about Evan. He's stupid. He's a bully. He mistakes being a big guy with being a good competitor. Worst of all, I couldn't figure out what original Real World or Road Rules season he was on. He seemed to just appear out of nowhere on the challenge circuit, spewing arrogance. Sure enough, Wikipedia let me know that he was never on a real season, instead he was brought in to the challenges through the "Fresh Meat" season. Spare me.
Worst moment: As a drunk and out of control Tonya begins to attack Veronica, Wes leaps from the couch to seperate them. Evan holds Wes back, prioritizing his own ambitions in the game, which probably included the elimination of both Tonya and Veronica for fighting, over the safety of his teammates.
7. Matt Roloff from TLC's "Little People, Big World." I feel guilty writing this entry because Matt Roloff has a charming family, particularly his long-suffering wife Amy. But, upon reflection, I was forced to ask myself, who should feel more guilty? And the answer is Matt Roloff, for subjecting his family, friends, and guests to the dangerous products of his misguided ambitions. Watching the episode where his young son Jacob was nearly crushed to death by Matt's ill-advised trebuchet sent me once again to Wikipedia. I wanted to read about Matt Roloff to get a clue as to how any parent could have such terrible judgment. Then I read about Mattt's multiple DUIs. And I have nothing else to say about him.
Worst moment: Trebuchet.
6. Danielle Staub from Bravo's "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Another good way to land on this list is to refuse to accept the consequences of your actions. Danielle, a former model, associated with members of a drug cartel, becoming an accessory to multiple drug and kidnapping charges. She was arrested. Charges against her were dropped, however, assumedly as part of a plea bargain. In Danielle-world, though, a plea bargain equals an exoneration. So don't question her judgment or her appropriateness as a babysitter -- or Danielle will accuse you of being a vicious gossip. After her arrest Danielle went on to a lead a promiscuous life, was engaged nineteen times by her own count, and had two daughters. Even her daughters have so little respect for their mother's wild lifestyle that when Danielle turns to her teen-aged daughter in frustration and asks why all the men in her life leave her, the daughter replies "they only want you for the goodies." Out of the mouth of babes.
Worst moment: "I need to have tables thrown at me because (searches desperately for a non-incriminating way to finish her own sentence), because... (searches some more) because I had a book written about me?"
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
You Pick Two Review (Take Two): Panera Signature Mac and Cheese
Today I sampled Panera's new Signature Macaroni and Cheese. It was a cozy bowl of comfort. Panera's own website describes the mac and cheese in this way: "When we created our new Macaroni & Cheese, we tried 20 different cheeses to find the right blend. The winner – Vermont White Cheddar with a touch of mild American. It’s the perfect balance of sharp and creamy, making this Mac & Cheese beyond compare."
A small serving (7.75 oz) of the mac and cheese has 490 calories and a large serving (15.5 oz) has 980 calories.
Several online resources describe the macaroni and cheese as baked and some mention a bread crumb topping, although mine did not have any topping, nor does it appear to have topping in this image from Panera's website.
I've been looking around for mac and cheese recipes that a) are baked, b) feature Vermont white cheddar, and c) use shell pasta. My preliminary research tells me that Panera has been very innovative, but I'll keep looking.
Update (11/7/09): Today I tried to imitate Panera's mac and cheese in my home kitchen. The results were pretty good.
Imitation Panera Macaroni and Cheese Recipe
Ingredients:
16 oz pasta shells
4 tbs butter
8 tbs flour
2 cups milk
6-8 oz grated Vermont white cheddar cheese
1 oz grated American cheese (optional)
1 egg (optional)
Boil about 16 oz of pasta shells. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute. Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly. Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more. For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce. Add cheese to taste. I used almost an entire 8oz block. Next time I will use a little less. Add a dash of grated American cheese (optional).
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta. I used a 9 by 9 in. pan. Bake at 350 degrees for about 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
[Editor's note: Something funny is happening with the google searching of this site, so I am reposting this entry]
A small serving (7.75 oz) of the mac and cheese has 490 calories and a large serving (15.5 oz) has 980 calories.
Several online resources describe the macaroni and cheese as baked and some mention a bread crumb topping, although mine did not have any topping, nor does it appear to have topping in this image from Panera's website.
I've been looking around for mac and cheese recipes that a) are baked, b) feature Vermont white cheddar, and c) use shell pasta. My preliminary research tells me that Panera has been very innovative, but I'll keep looking.
Update (11/7/09): Today I tried to imitate Panera's mac and cheese in my home kitchen. The results were pretty good.
Imitation Panera Macaroni and Cheese Recipe
Ingredients:
16 oz pasta shells
4 tbs butter
8 tbs flour
2 cups milk
6-8 oz grated Vermont white cheddar cheese
1 oz grated American cheese (optional)
1 egg (optional)
Boil about 16 oz of pasta shells. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute. Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly. Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more. For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce. Add cheese to taste. I used almost an entire 8oz block. Next time I will use a little less. Add a dash of grated American cheese (optional).
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta. I used a 9 by 9 in. pan. Bake at 350 degrees for about 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
[Editor's note: Something funny is happening with the google searching of this site, so I am reposting this entry]
Monday, November 9, 2009
True Life: My Kid Sister Explains Romance
My Kid Sister has discovered g-chat.
She calls it "chattering."
She also emotes on g-chat through artful parentheticals, like you would expect to read in a play. Or, more accurately, like she reads every day as she watches tv with closed captioning on.
She uses g-chat to harass me and the Boyfriend. The Boyfriend's patience never runs out. He politely asks her questions about her favorite topics (movies, the weather). Witness this exchange. Only the names have been edited:
The Boyfriend: So what's new with you? The movie "Up" comes out tomorrow, I think.
My Kid Sister: Actually, it's coming to Disney DVD, not in theaters. (laughs) I saw it before the first time with Dad six months ago when it opened on May 8.
The Boyfriend: Did you like it? Would you recommend that I get it from Netflix to watch with [the Sophisticate]?
My Kid Sister: I liked it a little. I think I mght let you two watch it, but it will be sad in the beginning and a little bit sad at the end, but there's also happy ending though. If you two promise not to do anything boyfriend-girlfriend thing! First getting to know each other, became friends, something in common, hang out as friends, then realationships ilegally towards romance of boyfriend-girlfriend! Uggh! Why can't you two being friends?! I'm all about friends, not realationhip toward romance!
Friday, November 6, 2009
You Pick Two Review: Panera Macaroni and Cheese and Imitation Recipe
Today I sampled Panera's new Signature Macaroni and Cheese. It was a cozy bowl of comfort. According to Panera's website, a small serving (7.75 oz) of their mac and cheese has 490 calories and a large serving (15.5 oz) has 980 calories.
Here is my own simple version of Panera's mac and cheese. The recipe in a more printable format follows below the photo walk through.
Boil about 12 oz of pasta shells, lightly salting the water to keep from boiling over. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute.
Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly.
Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add 8 oz. grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more.
For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce.
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. In these images I am using an oven-safe bowl. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta.
Cover the pasta and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
Imitation Panera Macaroni and Cheese Recipe
Ingredients:
12 oz pasta shells
4 tbs butter
8 tbs flour
2 cups milk
6-8 oz grated Vermont white cheddar cheese
1 oz grated American cheese (optional)
1 egg (optional)
Boil about 12 oz of pasta shells. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute. Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly. Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more. For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce. Add cheese to taste. I used an entire 8oz block. Add a dash of grated American cheese (optional).
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta. I used a 9 by 9 in. pan. Bake at 350 degrees covered for about 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
Here is my own simple version of Panera's mac and cheese. The recipe in a more printable format follows below the photo walk through.
Boil about 12 oz of pasta shells, lightly salting the water to keep from boiling over. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute.
Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly.
Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add 8 oz. grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more.
For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce.
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. In these images I am using an oven-safe bowl. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta.
Cover the pasta and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
Imitation Panera Macaroni and Cheese Recipe
Ingredients:
12 oz pasta shells
4 tbs butter
8 tbs flour
2 cups milk
6-8 oz grated Vermont white cheddar cheese
1 oz grated American cheese (optional)
1 egg (optional)
Boil about 12 oz of pasta shells. Slightly undercook the pasta. Set aside.
Microwave 4 tbs of butter with 8 tbs of flour for two minutes, stirring with a whisk after each minute. Then slowly add 2 cups of milk, stirring with the whisk constantly. Microwave the entire mixture for several minutes, stirring after each minute, until sauce thickens and takes on a matte finish. How many minutes will depend on the power of your microwave. (Mine took about 6 minutes).
Add grated Vermont white cheddar to sauce. The sauce should be hot enough that the cheese will melt as you stir. If not, you may add the cheese then microwave a little more. For an extra creamy sauce, pour a small amount of the pre-cheese sauce into a separate bowl, add one egg and beat vigorously, then return the reserved sauce to the original sauce. Add cheese to taste. I used an entire 8oz block. Add a dash of grated American cheese (optional).
Combine pasta and sauce, then pour into a well-greased baking pan. The pasta will absorb some of the liquid, so don't worry if the mixture seems more liquid-y than the way you would normally serve pasta. I used a 9 by 9 in. pan. Bake at 350 degrees covered for about 25 minutes or until bubbling and starting to become golden.
Enjoy!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Project Runway: Get the Winning Look for Less
On this week's episode of Project Runway, winning designer Althea Harper combined a voluminous gray cardigan with a strappy tank top and black dress pants with a paper bag waist for a luxe, fashion-forward style.
This look was designed as a companion piece to her earlier winning design, a feminine suit with paper bag waisted shorts.
You can imitate Althea's designs with these retail pieces.
For an affordable alternative to Althea's over-sized cardigan, try this more tailored version from Target.
Another great option is this wrap from Victoria's Secret, pictured here in a light gray, but available in a rich charcoal. The wrap can be worn at least six different ways.
An expensive luxury item, this little beauty is from Juicy Couture, available at Bloomingdales's.
Moving on to the distinctive tailoring of the pants... It was hard even to know what to search for, but here is my surprisingly close match!
If you would like to imitate the shorts from Althea's first style, look no further than these.
To imitate the runway look's strappy tank top, try this staple available from Amazon.com.
This camisole from Victoria's Secret has a lot of visual interest in the back, just like Althea's.
I hope you enjoyed these suggestions. Please email me at sophisticatesguide@gmail.com with your own suggestions!
This look was designed as a companion piece to her earlier winning design, a feminine suit with paper bag waisted shorts.
You can imitate Althea's designs with these retail pieces.
For an affordable alternative to Althea's over-sized cardigan, try this more tailored version from Target.
Another great option is this wrap from Victoria's Secret, pictured here in a light gray, but available in a rich charcoal. The wrap can be worn at least six different ways.
This option, also from Victoria's Secret, comes closer to the volume of Althea's look, but is only available in black and a soft, winter white.
An expensive luxury item, this little beauty is from Juicy Couture, available at Bloomingdales's.
Moving on to the distinctive tailoring of the pants... It was hard even to know what to search for, but here is my surprisingly close match!
If you would like to imitate the shorts from Althea's first style, look no further than these.
To imitate the runway look's strappy tank top, try this staple available from Amazon.com.
This camisole from Victoria's Secret has a lot of visual interest in the back, just like Althea's.
I hope you enjoyed these suggestions. Please email me at sophisticatesguide@gmail.com with your own suggestions!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Retro Makeup
I followed this instructional video to try to replicate a 1950s make-up style for a dance. Here are some photos of me curling my hair before the big night. Click the image to enlarge.
My favorite part of the look is the shadowing under my cheek bones. I didn't have the contour blush the video recommended, so I had to use a gray eye shadow. Most of the makeup is from CVS, nothing fancy.
Enjoy!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
True Life: Pure Michigan
Again, I'm sorry I haven't posted lately. I spent the last week in Michigan. It was a lot like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMyJ8o7ERHc&NR=1
Now I'm back. Tonight I'm doing homework for the week, but soon I will update again with some recipe reviews and two exciting style updates.
Stay tuned!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Now I'm back. Tonight I'm doing homework for the week, but soon I will update again with some recipe reviews and two exciting style updates.
Stay tuned!
Monday, October 19, 2009
True Life: Sophisticate on the Move!
Sorry I've been MIA, folks. This weekend I attended a wedding. In a few minutes I'm off again, heading home to see my sister, but I'll be back in action in a few days.
For reading material in the meantime, check out aldaily.com.
For reading material in the meantime, check out aldaily.com.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
You Pick Two Review: Asiago Roast Beef Sandwich and Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup
Pick Number One: Asiago Roast Beef Sandwich
Panera's roast beef sandwich benefits from a tasty bread and a kicky sauce, but suffers from a slightly boring piece of smoked cheddar plopped on like an afterthought.
Here is a recipe for this sandwich and the dressing, as found in the Panera Bread Cookbook, available here. I recommend this book to anyone interested in unusual, bread-based recipes, including some delicious bread puddings.*
Sandwich Recipe (slightly edited by the Sophisticate)
2 tablespoons Horseradish Sauce (see below)
2 slices Three-Cheese Bread (from Panera)
1 leaf romaine lettuce
3-4 slices vine-ripened tomato, 1/4 inch thick
3-4 slices red onion, 1/4 inch thick
4 ounces roast beef, sliced wafer-thin
2 slices smoked Cheddar cheese
[The cookbook includes instructions on how to assemble the sandwich].
Horseradish Sauce Recipe (not edited by the Sophisticate)
Makes 2 cups
1/2 cup prepared horseradish sauce
1 coup sour cream
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, minced
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 tablespoon Dijon or whole-grain mustard
Mix all ingredients in medium bowl with wire whisk. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to allow the flavors to blend.
The nutritional information for the asiago roast beef sandwich, as found on the Panera website, follows. Click on the image to enlarge it.
Pick Number Two: Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup
I couldn't stop eating this soup. It may be the best soup I've ever tasted. The Panera cookbook does not include a recipe, but this recipe I found through allrecipes.com is similar:
INGREDIENTS
*The book was a Christmas present from my mother. It was not given to me as compensation from Panera or any of its affiliates.
Panera's roast beef sandwich benefits from a tasty bread and a kicky sauce, but suffers from a slightly boring piece of smoked cheddar plopped on like an afterthought.
Here is a recipe for this sandwich and the dressing, as found in the Panera Bread Cookbook, available here. I recommend this book to anyone interested in unusual, bread-based recipes, including some delicious bread puddings.*
Sandwich Recipe (slightly edited by the Sophisticate)
2 tablespoons Horseradish Sauce (see below)
2 slices Three-Cheese Bread (from Panera)
1 leaf romaine lettuce
3-4 slices vine-ripened tomato, 1/4 inch thick
3-4 slices red onion, 1/4 inch thick
4 ounces roast beef, sliced wafer-thin
2 slices smoked Cheddar cheese
[The cookbook includes instructions on how to assemble the sandwich].
Horseradish Sauce Recipe (not edited by the Sophisticate)
Makes 2 cups
1/2 cup prepared horseradish sauce
1 coup sour cream
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, minced
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 tablespoon Dijon or whole-grain mustard
Mix all ingredients in medium bowl with wire whisk. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to allow the flavors to blend.
The nutritional information for the asiago roast beef sandwich, as found on the Panera website, follows. Click on the image to enlarge it.
Pick Number Two: Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup
I couldn't stop eating this soup. It may be the best soup I've ever tasted. The Panera cookbook does not include a recipe, but this recipe I found through allrecipes.com is similar:
INGREDIENTS
- 1 1/3 cups wild rice
- 1 (3 pound) whole chicken, cut into pieces
- 7 cups water
- 1 cup chopped celery
- 1 cup chopped onion
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1 cup fresh mushrooms, sliced
- 2 tablespoons chicken bouillon granules
- 3/4 teaspoon ground white pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup margarine
- 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 4 cups milk
- 3/4 cup white wine
- Cook the wild rice according to package directions, but remove from heat about 15 minutes before it's done. Drain the excess liquid, and set aside.
- In a stock pot over high heat, combine the chicken and the water. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat to low. Simmer for 40 minutes, or until chicken is cooked and tender. Remove chicken from the pot, and allow it to cool. Strain the broth from the pot, and reserve for later. When chicken is cool, remove the meat from the bones, cut into bite size pieces, and reserve. Discard the fat and the bones.
- In the same stock pot over medium heat, saute the celery and onion in the oil for 5 minutes. Add the mushrooms, and cover. Cook for 5 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until everything is tender. Return the broth to the stock pot, and add the partially cooked wild rice. Stir in the bouillon, white pepper and salt; simmer, uncovered, for 15 minutes.
- Meanwhile, melt margarine in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the flour until smooth. Whisk in the milk, and continue cooking until mixture is bubbly and thick. Add some of the broth mixture to the milk mixture, continuing to stir, then stir all of the milk mixture into the broth mixture.
- Mix in the reserved chicken meat and the white wine. Allow this to heat through for about 15 minutes.
*The book was a Christmas present from my mother. It was not given to me as compensation from Panera or any of its affiliates.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Poem ...
... about Dependent Relative Revocation
"The Doctrine of Second Best"
By E. E. Watkins
Second will
Not like the first
Could get better
But it's going to get worse
That's all I've got for tonight.
"The Doctrine of Second Best"
By E. E. Watkins
Second will
Not like the first
Could get better
But it's going to get worse
That's all I've got for tonight.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
New Law School Slogan
A new, better slogan for Trusts and Estates has occurred to me.
Trusts and Estates: Where there's a will...
Love it. But that's the only thing I love about Trusts and Estates.
Trusts and Estates: Where there's a will...
Love it. But that's the only thing I love about Trusts and Estates.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sophisticate's Guide to Modern English Usage: Part Two
"I get all my news from the Daily Show": 1. I am a white male, age 18-25.
"...but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything:" Precise meaning depends on context, but usually implies a lack of imagination on the part of the speaker.
Examples:
"Having that surgery as a child was traumatic, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because it made me who I am today." 1. I can't imagine a less traumatic, but equally formative life experience. Also, I am an optimist.
"Working for the U.S. government right after 9/11 was intense, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because I learned a lot." I can't imagine anything short of a national tragedy triggering my learning. Also, I am a monster.
"...but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything:" Precise meaning depends on context, but usually implies a lack of imagination on the part of the speaker.
Examples:
"Having that surgery as a child was traumatic, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because it made me who I am today." 1. I can't imagine a less traumatic, but equally formative life experience. Also, I am an optimist.
"Working for the U.S. government right after 9/11 was intense, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because I learned a lot." I can't imagine anything short of a national tragedy triggering my learning. Also, I am a monster.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Haiku Review: "My Fake Fiance" on ABC Family
"My Fake Fiance"
Melissa Joan Hart, Joe Lawrence
Where have you guys been?
Real review: I know this movie has been out for awhile, but I just caught it the other day. I was pleasantly surprised.* Some scenes made me laugh out loud. However, the bumbling mob boss and cronies brought in for comic relief were just too much. Maybe it's law school. Maybe it's my intense fear of real life bad guys. But cronies riding around on segues don't make me laugh. Further, a mob boss hiding in plain sight by dressing and acting like a stereotypical mob boss just makes me incredulous.
Overall, the Boyfriend and the Sophisticate give it two thumbs up.
*Does "surprised" permit any descriptors other than "pleasantly?" Likewise, can you be any kind of "optimistic" other than "cautiously?"
Saturday, October 10, 2009
True Life: "Something for the Cats"
I don't have any tattoos.
But I don't mind discussing them.
The other day, the subject of tattoos came up with a group of friends. Specifically, we all wondered what kind of tattoos we would get, say, if we were ever all in Vegas together. And drunk.
We went around the table:
"A shamrock."
"Me, too. A shamrock. With you."
"A wagon wheel."
"A phoenix."
"Barbed wire around my bicep." ("Really?" "No.")
"A Dag Hammarskjold quotation."
"Something for the cats." ("Really?" "Yes.")
Readers, what tattoo would you get?
But I don't mind discussing them.
The other day, the subject of tattoos came up with a group of friends. Specifically, we all wondered what kind of tattoos we would get, say, if we were ever all in Vegas together. And drunk.
We went around the table:
"A shamrock."
"Me, too. A shamrock. With you."
"A wagon wheel."
"A phoenix."
"Barbed wire around my bicep." ("Really?" "No.")
"A Dag Hammarskjold quotation."
"Something for the cats." ("Really?" "Yes.")
Readers, what tattoo would you get?
Haiku Review: Breakfast with Friends
Morris Inn breakfast
Shaking off Trusts and Estates
Lots more coffee, please
Shaking off Trusts and Estates
Lots more coffee, please
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
True Life: As Funny as Federal Income Tax Gets...
Class today started with this video, originally from the Daily Show on Comedy Central:
http://video.lisarein.com/dailyshow/oct2004/oct252004/10-25-04-oprah-tax.mov
I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed in tax class, except, of course, for the time the professor explained about itemized deductions.
http://video.lisarein.com/dailyshow/oct2004/oct252004/10-25-04-oprah-tax.mov
I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed in tax class, except, of course, for the time the professor explained about itemized deductions.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
True Life: "The Last Song" Release Date Has Been Pushed Back...
...and my sister is distraught.
The movie, starring Miley Cyrus, based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks, and produced by Touchstone pictures, was originally slotted to come out on January 8th. It seems that the new release date is April 2nd.
Since the seismic announcement of the delayed release, I have been in near-constant communication with my Miley-loving sister. Here is an excerpt of the conversation in which she broke the news to me. When I told her that I can wait until April to see the movie, she responded like this:
little sister: ARE YOU CRAZY! We've got to see that movie! I'm not giving up without a fight! I'd do anything for you to see that movie! Think about the movie! Miley! ME! I'm calling for protest for moving the movie different date next year! HELP!!!!
I mean, it's very important to us! I'm not giving up on you or the movie!
Get that!
6:41 PM Sorry. Just trying to show my demonstration of courage and determination!
I'm very really serious, through.
6:42 PM sophisticate: ok, i understand
well, i need to go to school soon
little sister: Check some resources about the mis dating movie!
6:43 PM sophisticate: ok, i will
but i have to run, now
i can call you later
talk to you soon!
little sister: Oh, yeah. More school work to distract you from not getting involve our mission to save our movie. No problem, I guess! Don't forget!
Talk to you soon too! Bye! I love you!
6:44 PM me: love you too!
ttys!
little sister: Tell [the boyfriend] about this! He can do something about to save our movie! We have a movie to save from moving away! HELP [THE BOYFRIEND]!
As promised, I did some google-ing and confirmed that the release date had been changed. I emailed my sister with this confirmation and some words of encouragement. I received this reply:
"I don't want to believe this! I'm not giving up without the movie's mid-date permission! HELP!!!
Love from your desperate sister,
[redacted]
PS Love you! Got any more brillant ideas to stop the movie from moving? I still need your supportive! Tell [the boyfriend]! Maybe he can help! Email me back soon!"
Eventually my little sister pulled my other sister into the drama as well. When my practical-minded other sister suggested that the little one write a letter to Touchstone Pictures, the little one had some concerns:
little sister: I could try, I don't think Mom will allow it, according to the law. What will happen if we break a law. We could be in big trouble with Mom and maybe President Obama. (sigh) Got any ideas to cheer me up?
other sister: Maybe go watch a Mile Cyrus movie?
Readers, got any ideas to cheer a little sister up?
Readers, got any ideas to cheer a little sister up?
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Sophisticate's Guide to Modern English Usage: Part One
"Technically that's correct": 1. "That's correct, but I don't want to admit it." 2. "That's correct, but don't make me explain why."
"Bourgeois" (when used in a sentence, non-satirically): 1. "I need to grow up."
"That's true of most people, but there are exceptions": 1. And the exception is me.
"You know me, I'm not usually like that": 1. I'm always like that.
"When I lived in [European city]": "When I did a school-sponsored, study abroad trip to [European city]."
"I like him as a person, but...": 1. I hate him.
"Aspects" (when used in written English): 1. "I have a weak vocabulary."
"Facets": 1. See, Aspects.
"Well...": 1. "No."
"Bourgeois" (when used in a sentence, non-satirically): 1. "I need to grow up."
"That's true of most people, but there are exceptions": 1. And the exception is me.
"You know me, I'm not usually like that": 1. I'm always like that.
"When I lived in [European city]": "When I did a school-sponsored, study abroad trip to [European city]."
"I like him as a person, but...": 1. I hate him.
"Aspects" (when used in written English): 1. "I have a weak vocabulary."
"Facets": 1. See, Aspects.
"Well...": 1. "No."
Thursday, October 1, 2009
True Life: I am not a very good cook.
Sometimes I get the urge to just "whip something up" in the kitchen. I am guided by a misplaced notion that I have an inherent talent for cooking. I can just pull a few things out of the refrigerator, stir ingredients in various saucepans while humming to myself, chop a few vegetables, pirouette over to the oven, and magic will happen. The flavors will sing. The Boyfriend will say, "Gee, honey, you've done it again!"
My daydreams about cooking always start out rosy and sweet-smelling. They rarely end that way. Once I served the Boyfriend uncooked biscuit dough over chicken noodle soup. To his credit, he ate the entire thing.
A few nights ago, I got the urge. I peered into the refrigerator and the pantry. I pulled out a few, disparate ingredients. I didn't need a recipe. Recipes were for amateurs. I could make a pasta sauce from scratch. No problem.
Readers, for the first time, it actually worked. I put some butter in a sauce pan and let it heat up. I added some chopped smoked salmon. The butter and salmon mingled in the pan and made the kitchen smell amazing. I knew I was on to something good. A little vodka, a little cream, and a little lemon juice later, and I was a chef!
I think this experiment in cooking was successful, in part, because of a maxim I learned from tv chef Tom Colicchio: if you put really good ingredients in, you'll get really good food out.
Tonight I will try for similar results with chicken, garlic, and bread crumbs. Wish me luck!
(Image reproduced without permission from hoboquilts.com).
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Haiku Review: Trusts and Estates Reading
Some guy wrote a will
Oops, we found a codicil
Probate court, baby!
(Image reproduced without permission from samplelegalagreements.com).
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Haiku Review: South Bend Chocolate Cafe
Service lackluster
But root beer floats passed muster
Hey, where's the chocolate?
-by the Boyfriend and the Sophisticate
(Image reproduced without permission from www.sbchocolate.com).
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Haiku* Review: Clinique Moisture Surge Face Spray
Winter is coming
This bottle will help your skin
Spray it anytime
You can buy this product through Sephora here.
*A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables, in three metrical phrases of 5, 7, and 5. It usually contains a seasonal reference.