"Sister Wives" Goes Off the Rails

In my last two posts about TLC's new docu-drama "Sister Wives," I tried to remain neutral. It's not for me to say if the polygamist lifestyle is right or wrong, so my other recaps focused on what surprised me about each episode.

Well, I can't do it anymore. My disgust with the show keeps growing each week and I have to let it out. The polygamy has little or nothing to do with my disgust. I don't hate polygamists. I hate this polygamist.

Kody.

Even typing his name makes me mad.

This week we watched as Kody's third wife Christine went into labor and delivered her baby. This baby was her sixth (I think) and Kody's thirteenth. Because of Christine's age of 37, she chose to have her baby in the hospital, rather than as a home birth like all of her other deliveries.

Christine was beaming throughout the episode. Maybe she was just excited about her baby, but I couldn't help but think that she loved the attention. For the brief time that she was in the hospital, Christine almost had a monogamous relationship with Kody. He (mostly) stayed by her side and was (sort of) attentive to her needs. He only left Christine in the hospital once to visit and kiss his girlfriend Robyn and he only asked Christine's doctor about in vitro procedures to get his other wife, Meri, pregnant once while Christine was in labor. That was pretty good for Kody -- I give him a B+. Hours after the baby was born, twenty family members tromped into the hospital and everyone, right on down to the little kids, got to hold the baby. I'm not a doctor, but I was cringing thinking of all the germs.

Other noteworthy moments in this episode:

1. Kody leaves Christine at the hospital so he can "go home and change." He changes out of a blue shirt and khakis into a different blue shirt and jeans.

2. During Christine's labor, Kody asks Christine's doctor about in vitro fertilization procedures. The doctor, confused, glances at Christine.

"No, not for her," Kody clarifies. "For my other wife. Because she only has one."

"One ovary?" the doctor asks.

Kody laughs callously. "No! One kid! I'm in the kid business, man!"

3. In an interview, Robyn explains why polygamists usually have home births. "The hospitals want, like, all this information," she says resentfully.

Janelle chimes in, "And if the dad goes to jail, that's a bad thing."

Can't say that I agree with you there, Janelle.

4. Christine is amazed and delighted by the epidural she is administered in the hospital. All of her other births were at home, no epidurals in sight. I know women choose to have natural births for any number of principled reasons, but I can't imagine enduring the pain of labor without even the option of an epidural. But you know hospitals these days, they want, like, all this information....

5. While Robyn watches the kids at home during the birth, the kids play dolls. They have four Barbie dolls, one for each wife, and one Ken doll, Kody. The children move the Ken doll around the doll house, having him say "good morning" to each wife, then push the plastic faces together in a kiss. This scene is strange on so many levels, but at its most basic, when you guys played with dolls, did you ever name them after your parents and act out your daily lives? I didn't...

6. When Janelle holds Christine's baby for the first time, she expresses how happy she is to have another baby in the family, without Janelle having to go through the work of a pregnancy. Janelle is all about letting other people do the work! Hopefully the new baby won't interfere with her busy movie watching schedule.

7. Kody was surprisingly frank about the quality of education at the local polygamist school, though he struggled to define the school itself. He labored, "it's a.....organization....of home school...." (sweat starts to bead up on his brow, his eyes light up as he hits on a word he likes) "coalition!" (long pause as the wheels continue to turn, finally something bursts out of him) "It's not accredited! Most people have to get GEDs!"

It's not accredited? And if you graduate from this program you still need a GED? How is it even a school? It sounds like daycare for teenagers. Or jail. Actually, I bet you can get a GED in jail.

8. Kody's bizarre attitude toward women was on display in this episode. When his teenage daughter, Mariah, approaches Kody about her plan to someday join the military, a visibly uncomfortable Kody squirms and says, "I'm...very pleased with you, heh heh heh, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant."

That statement blows my mind. It sounds like he has given up on the possibility of playing an active parental role. His responsible daughter is obviously a stranger to him if his guess about her news could be so off base. Also, I gathered from the scenes of the family praying together in the living room that the parents are trying to raise the kids with conservative Christian values. My parents raised me with similar values. When I was a teen, if I had sat my dad down to tell him that I wanted to apply to college and then he told me, "Phew! I thought you were pregnant," I would have been devastated. What a slap in the face.

9. Over a romantic, 20th-anniversary dinner, Meri brings up her jealously issues. She asks Kody how he would feel if she were lavishing attention on a new husband, the way he is lavishing attention on future wife Robyn. Koby replies, "The vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands sickens me." When Meri pushes him with more questions, he says, "I feel like you're asking me to admit that what I'm doing is completely unfair."

I will let those statements speak for themselves.

10. Over a romantic, 20th-anniversary trip to Mexico (how? how do they afford these things?!), Kody brings up the possibility of in vitro fertilization to Meri, who shuts him down. Later, in a weepy interview, Meri admits that she would love another baby, if that baby were to come naturally, but she is opposed to the idea of in vitro fertilization. Kody, sitting beside Meri on the couch while she cries, tells the camera, "I haven't been told no in a strong enough fashion to believe it really means no yet."

Thank goodness next week is the finale. I don't know how much more I can take.