In my last two posts about TLC's new docu-drama "Sister Wives," I tried to remain neutral. It's not for me to say if the polygamist lifestyle is right or wrong, so my other recaps focused on what surprised me about each episode.
Well, I can't do it anymore. My disgust with the show keeps growing each week and I have to let it out. The polygamy has little or nothing to do with my disgust. I don't hate polygamists. I hate this polygamist.
Kody.
Even typing his name makes me mad.
This week we watched as Kody's third wife Christine went into labor and delivered her baby. This baby was her sixth (I think) and Kody's thirteenth. Because of Christine's age of 37, she chose to have her baby in the hospital, rather than as a home birth like all of her other deliveries.
Christine was beaming throughout the episode. Maybe she was just excited about her baby, but I couldn't help but think that she loved the attention. For the brief time that she was in the hospital, Christine almost had a monogamous relationship with Kody. He (mostly) stayed by her side and was (sort of) attentive to her needs. He only left Christine in the hospital once to visit and kiss his girlfriend Robyn and he only asked Christine's doctor about in vitro procedures to get his other wife, Meri, pregnant once while Christine was in labor. That was pretty good for Kody -- I give him a B+. Hours after the baby was born, twenty family members tromped into the hospital and everyone, right on down to the little kids, got to hold the baby. I'm not a doctor, but I was cringing thinking of all the germs.
Other noteworthy moments in this episode:
1. Kody leaves Christine at the hospital so he can "go home and change." He changes out of a blue shirt and khakis into a different blue shirt and jeans.
2. During Christine's labor, Kody asks Christine's doctor about in vitro fertilization procedures. The doctor, confused, glances at Christine.
"No, not for her," Kody clarifies. "For my other wife. Because she only has one."
"One ovary?" the doctor asks.
Kody laughs callously. "No! One kid! I'm in the kid business, man!"
3. In an interview, Robyn explains why polygamists usually have home births. "The hospitals want, like, all this information," she says resentfully.
Janelle chimes in, "And if the dad goes to jail, that's a bad thing."
Can't say that I agree with you there, Janelle.
4. Christine is amazed and delighted by the epidural she is administered in the hospital. All of her other births were at home, no epidurals in sight. I know women choose to have natural births for any number of principled reasons, but I can't imagine enduring the pain of labor without even the option of an epidural. But you know hospitals these days, they want, like, all this information....
5. While Robyn watches the kids at home during the birth, the kids play dolls. They have four Barbie dolls, one for each wife, and one Ken doll, Kody. The children move the Ken doll around the doll house, having him say "good morning" to each wife, then push the plastic faces together in a kiss. This scene is strange on so many levels, but at its most basic, when you guys played with dolls, did you ever name them after your parents and act out your daily lives? I didn't...
6. When Janelle holds Christine's baby for the first time, she expresses how happy she is to have another baby in the family, without Janelle having to go through the work of a pregnancy. Janelle is all about letting other people do the work! Hopefully the new baby won't interfere with her busy movie watching schedule.
7. Kody was surprisingly frank about the quality of education at the local polygamist school, though he struggled to define the school itself. He labored, "it's a.....organization....of home school...." (sweat starts to bead up on his brow, his eyes light up as he hits on a word he likes) "coalition!" (long pause as the wheels continue to turn, finally something bursts out of him) "It's not accredited! Most people have to get GEDs!"
It's not accredited? And if you graduate from this program you still need a GED? How is it even a school? It sounds like daycare for teenagers. Or jail. Actually, I bet you can get a GED in jail.
8. Kody's bizarre attitude toward women was on display in this episode. When his teenage daughter, Mariah, approaches Kody about her plan to someday join the military, a visibly uncomfortable Kody squirms and says, "I'm...very pleased with you, heh heh heh, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant."
That statement blows my mind. It sounds like he has given up on the possibility of playing an active parental role. His responsible daughter is obviously a stranger to him if his guess about her news could be so off base. Also, I gathered from the scenes of the family praying together in the living room that the parents are trying to raise the kids with conservative Christian values. My parents raised me with similar values. When I was a teen, if I had sat my dad down to tell him that I wanted to apply to college and then he told me, "Phew! I thought you were pregnant," I would have been devastated. What a slap in the face.
9. Over a romantic, 20th-anniversary dinner, Meri brings up her jealously issues. She asks Kody how he would feel if she were lavishing attention on a new husband, the way he is lavishing attention on future wife Robyn. Koby replies, "The vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands sickens me." When Meri pushes him with more questions, he says, "I feel like you're asking me to admit that what I'm doing is completely unfair."
I will let those statements speak for themselves.
10. Over a romantic, 20th-anniversary trip to Mexico (how? how do they afford these things?!), Kody brings up the possibility of in vitro fertilization to Meri, who shuts him down. Later, in a weepy interview, Meri admits that she would love another baby, if that baby were to come naturally, but she is opposed to the idea of in vitro fertilization. Kody, sitting beside Meri on the couch while she cries, tells the camera, "I haven't been told no in a strong enough fashion to believe it really means no yet."
Thank goodness next week is the finale. I don't know how much more I can take.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
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Wait, next week is the finale?! I can't even begin to comment on this blog post because I agree with you on every single point. Let's just say - I am not against polygamy - instead, I'm against Kody. He really bothers me. He's so laid-back and has a "no pasa nada" attitude, if you will...
ReplyDeletePoor Meri...Poor Christine...and I'm not sure about Janelle, because I don't feel that I've gotten to know her that well.
Finally, I continue to be perplexed as to where their money comes from!!
Thanks for the recap, I was trying to figure out because I missed the first part, what was the deal with the epidural being new to her... I loved how she goes "that was so easy!"--cracked me up (I'm a home-birthing mom, by the way, so I know what natural birth is like, but that's what I chose, I can't imagine HAVING to do it because you're scared of the hospital's questions).
ReplyDeleteOh, and I wanted to b__slap Kody for saying "I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant", but it's because I took it to mean he was talking to Meri, and I thought that was a hideously insensitive thing to say (as he has been hideously insensitive about everything to do with her infertility and miscarriage). I totally didn't think he was referring to his daughter.
And the collective homeschool is not uncommon--in states where homeschooling is legally restricted, sometimes parents will join together to form a non-accredited school, dividing the teaching duties and having a separate school building. These are sometimes called umbrella schools or homeschool collectives, and yes, you would have to get your GED to get your work there recognized in most cases. But it is a school, the students learn reading/writing/math/science/etc and have classes and school work. Most home-schoolers have to choose between either doing correspondence school for high-school or getting their GED in order to have a formal diploma--or at least this was the case when I was home-schooled, which is why my parents chose to send me to public school for high-school.
Most homeschoolers are not freaky FLDS polygamists either--but I digress....
I agree with this post also. I keep thinking that Kody is a complete jackass! I keep screaming at the tv " if Kody wants another baby with Meri why doesn't he trade one of his nights with one of the other girls? apparently he is sleeping with Meri on the wrong nights" because the others don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant.
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ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a certain reader might be *resentful*.
ReplyDeleteA few preliminary points: When writing something for publication, please pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Specifically, it is best to end each sentence with a period, question mark, or exclamation point. Ellipses cannot be substituted for a period. Also, contractions (e.g. that’s, don’t, etc.) need an apostrophe. The apostrophe tells the reader that two words were combined into one (naturally, a proper contraction cannot contain more than two words). Finally, the random capitalization of a word (e.g. CAN, ONE, CATHOLIC, etc.) makes it sound like the writer is yelling. Readers do not like it when they think the writer is yelling at them. Other errors abound, but this is not a writing class. I sincerely hope the disgruntled author of the above post teaches her daughter better grammar than she practices.
Here are a few finer points that the resentful reader missed:
(1) Kody and his family are not LDS. See http://trib.com/news/state-and-regional/article_a7f6c66e-1412-559b-a453-1acb0a6c24f2.html (“Kody says his family is fundamentalist Mormon, separate from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”) The Sophisticate does not mention LDS. I am not sure why the resentful reader brings up LDS. Perhaps it is because the reader is LDS, and she inexplicably seems to want to take the Sophisticate’s post rather personally. Defensive much?
(2) The Sophisticate said, “Actually, I bet you can get a GED in jail,” so I am not sure why the resentful reader replies with “You CAN get your GED in jail” and then offers a personal anecdote as proof. Perhaps the reader just wanted to emphatically agree with the Sophisticate?
(3) Bigamy is classified as a third-degree felony in Utah. Multiple legal marriages is not an element of the offense. See http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39418047 (“Under the Utah law, a person can be found guilty of bigamy through cohabitation, not just legal marriage contracts.”) The resentful reader should avoid giving legal advice when she does not have her facts straight – or a J.D.
(4) The Sophisticate’s point regarding the epidural was (I believe) simply that it is tragic that these women do not have the freedom to choose the less-painful delivery made possible through an epidural. Because these “sister wives” have to hide their lifestyle from legal authorities (see #3, above), they do not have regular access to hospitals.
(5) If the resentful reader watched the show, she would know that only one of the wives (i.e. Janelle) works full-time. Meri is pursuing her college degree and Christine is the homemaker and home-school teacher. See http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/23/AR2010092304939.html. The resentful reader may be right about the unemployment rate in Utah, but I am not sure why that is relevant. The adults who want to have jobs already have jobs. Thus, the job prospects of other Utahans are completely irrelevant.
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ReplyDeletePetty ladies...VERY Petty! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so get off of your stupid high horses and being so sensitive to someone merely posting thier opinion. It doesn't mean you have to agree with it, and it certainly doesn't mean you have to get all uber-sensitive and feel it was a personal attack on you. I love how you feel the need to defend LDS/FLDS/home schooling, etc. If you (and they) were truly comfortable in their decisions, then why the need to vehemently argue it? Petty!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe everything I see on TV and so I decided to research and find out some facts. I reviewed the Chapter 7 bankruptcy papers filed by Kody Brown and Meri Brown in Wyoming in 2005 and this is what I found. Kody only lists 7 children, not the 12 he had at the time. He evidently left off his children with Christine. He and Meri discharged $85,612.73 worth of unsecured debt. He reaffirmed a debt on a Toyota which was cosigned with Christine. He lists his income as $4000 per month and Meri's is listed as $625. Their joint income for 2004 was $55,000. Most telling is that in response to Question 16 on the Statement of Financial Affairs which asks whether he has any other wives, he states NONE. (Of course, this question is referring to former wives since polygamy is illegal in Wyoming and all 50 states.) He lists his occupation as Salesman with a company called Sign Products out of Billings MT. Meri's occupation is listed as "engraver." The Trustee sold his house in Wyoming. The food budget is listed as only $300 per month. (I understand that now it is $5400 per month which makes more sense for a family of his size.) So basically, he committed bankruptcy fraud by lying about how mnay children he had. It is also very evident that the reason he lied is because he did not want to be exposed. Kody and Meri's combined income is around $4800 while their expenses are $6100 when listing only 7 of his children. What a jerk of a father! And Meri is a terrible stepmother for not listing them either.
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