8 Things and Counting That Surprised Me About TLC's "Sister Wives"

TLC's new reality series "Sister Wives" premiered last night. It follows fundamentalist Mormon father Kody Brown, his three wives, and their thirteen children in their daily lives in Lehi, Utah. Here are the things that surprised me about the show.

1. Kody is a frenetic, fun-loving surfer dude. Where is the ancient, taciturn, and unyielding polygamist patriarch I expected? Did he refuse to film, so central casting sent this guy instead? I can't decide if Kody's goofy, teenager-trapped-in-an-adult's body persona -- particularly his lion's mane of hair -- is more or less creepy than what I expected.

2. Most of the wives work outside the home. I didn't expect the wives to pursue careers or education beyond the domestic setting, but Meri, the first wife, works and is studying for a degree in psychology while Janelle, the second wife, has an unspecified office job. Janelle openly admits that she prefers her career to housework, so she is happy that the third wife, Christine, is so willing to cook and clean. Janelle even says, "This way I can go out to the movies or do what I want." Paradoxically, it sounds like Janelle has more freedom than many mothers, thanks to the live-in child care provided by her sister wife.

3. They aren't farmers. I really had no idea that any polygamist families lived suburban lifestyles. Kody drives a nice car and works in advertising. The whole family lives in one spacious home loosely divided into separate living areas for each wife and her children.

4. Kody wasn't brought up as a polygamist, but most of the women were. Kody didn't convert to Fundamentalist Mormonism until he was a young adult, right before he married Meri, his first wife, who was brought up in the religion and always expected to be part of a plural marriage. Janelle, the second wife, grew up with polygamist family friends and didn't find the idea of joining an existing marriage "a shock." Christine, the third wife, came from a polygamist background and always wanted to be part of a plural marriage. "Huh," I said to my (only) husband during a commercial. "I thought the polygamist man would have to convince the women to join his lifestyle. This way it kind of takes the challenge out of it."

5. The women talk about marriage order the way other people talk about birth order in siblings. Christine tells the camera that she always wanted to be a third wife. She knew she didn't want to be a first wife because she didn't "want to be married to a man without anyone else." She didn't want to be a second wife, because the second wife tends to be a "wedge." She continues, "but they say if you are having trouble in your marriage to two women, marry a third and she'll fix it." She nods and smiles proudly.

6. The wives go on lots of one-on-one dates with their husband. Kody interviews that he makes time for each wife individually, so most evenings he goes out with one of his wives on a date. That sounds to me like each wife is getting around two date nights a week, while the other sister-wives look after the children. I know plenty of wives and mothers who would love that many date nights. Again, the built-in child care obviously has some benefits.

7. The wives admit to feeling jealous. I thought that the women would present an unflinching, united front in favor of their lifestyle. It was surprising to hear Meri admit that she struggles with feelings of jealousy that she hopes to one day overcome. Christine also seemed hurt by Kody's announcement that a fourth wife may be brought into the mix. Like a youngest child finding out there is another baby on the way, she seemed to wonder, "What's wrong with me? Why aren't I enough?"

8. The family doesn't seem to be taking any action to avoid prosecution. The family members use their real names and show their faces. They may think that they are safe from the arm of the law because only the marriage between Kody and Meri is "legal." The other two marriages are religious only. It's not a crime to be married to one woman and to have relationships with other women, they would probably argue. Unforunately for them, some sources say otherwise. I am surprised that the family didn't take more precautions before agreeing to discuss their family on national television. I am sure the sister-wives would be devasted if Kody had to go to jail or, worse yet, if Child Protective Services got involved and took some of the children away.