Domestic Violence Escalates on MTV's "Teen Mom"

Amber Portwood physically assaulted her fiance Gary Shirley on last night's episode of docu-drama "Teen Mom." Cameras rolled as Amber screamed obscenities and repeatedly slapped Gary's face. Gary refused to retaliate, even as Amber threatened to throw him down the stairs. Amber then punched Gary in the face with a closed fist, causing Gary's head to collide audibly with the wall. As Gary fled the ugly scene down the stairs, Amber kicked him in the back.

Amber's loss of control came hot on the heels of Gary suggesting that Amber was an unfit mother to their toddler daughter, Leah. In a previous incident, Gary confronted Amber about her neglectful parenting. Gary had come home to find baby Leah screaming in her crib, which hadn't had a new crib sheet in days, while Amber relaxed on the couch in another room. Gary suggested that if things didn't change, he would be forced to call Child Protective Services. Amber became enraged, verbally berated Gary in words not fit to print, and then threw him out of the house. Gary took Leah with him, insisting that they would both be gone "forever." When Gary returned later to collect some of his belongings, Amber assaulted him.

MTV responded to these abusive acts by airing three public service announcement-type placards throughout the show ("If you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic violence..."). The network also posted an interview with Amber and Gary on MTV.com, entitled "Amber and Gary Discuss Their Abusive Relationship." You can watch the video here. The video could easily be re-titled "Amber and Gary Continue Their Abusive Relationship." The video shows a subdued, almost zombie-like Amber suggesting that in some instances she doesn't even remember attacking Gary. When Gary speaks up about how he would like to be treated, Amber immediately loses her temper and interrupts him to snap, "Don't be rude, Gary," before suggesting that he is the problem.

The video is accompanied by a short essay by Katie Ray-Jones, a domestic violence expert. She describes the interaction this way:

"She constantly interrupts him during the interview and dismisses his feelings. In abusive relationships, it is common for the abusive person to blame the victim for the abuser's actions."

I had a law professor who encouraged us to analyze legal situations by "going toward the ambiguity." In this situation, I struggle to find any ambiguity with regard to Amber's behavior toward Gary. Amber's physical and verbal abuse of Gary is egregious and it is documented by live footage. Gary needs to free himself from this relationship.

Ambiguity starts to creep in with regard to Leah. Has Amber physically abused Leah? If she has, MTV's cameras haven't caught it. Is it only a matter of time until she does hurt her daughter? I really don't know. Maybe an expert in domestic violence could attest to the mentality of an abuser. Is it a "once an abuser, always an abuser" situation or can the anger and violence be directed at only one person? Even if Amber would never lay a hand on Leah, what are the effects of Leah witnessing Amber's violent outbursts against Gary? Does Amber's filthy apartment and habitual refusal to interact with her own daughter rise to the level of abusive neglect?

Taking as a given that Amber is abusing Leah, either through domestic violence or neglect, what's next for Leah? She should be taken away from her mom to somewhere safe, but for how long? Until her mom can "get better?" What if that never happens? And what's next for Amber?

Domestic violence is wrong, no matter the genders of the perpetrator and the victim, but we can't help looking at a female abuser slightly differently. If I had just watched a video of a man punching a woman in the face, my first reaction would be, "He needs to be locked up." Watching a woman punch a man, I thought, "She needs help." My first assumption was that Amber's violent ways could only be the result of a chemical imbalance in her brain. "She's really hurting and feels trapped," I thought. "Fix her meds, get her some help, and she'll stop." Later, I questioned my own reaction. Maybe Amber is just a bully. She isn't a frail little girl, taking out her frustrations by feebly punching a pillow on the couch. She's a grown woman. She's training in mixed martial arts, learning to more effectively hurt people with her hands and feet. She isn't punching a pillow, she's punching the face of another human being.

I'm glad MTV chose to air the Public Service Announcements and to post the response from a domestic violence expert, but I think the abuse has gone too far. "Teen Mom" began as a show documenting the real-life hardships of teen mothers attempting to balance school, family, jobs, and a child. Season One showed the moms waking up in the middle of the night to change diapers and attempting to attend online classes with babies in their laps. Season Two has spun out of control. The day-to-day moments that made Season One realistic and winning have been eclipsed by a focus on never-ending relationship drama and by highlighting the abuse between Amber and Gary.

I hope "Teen Mom" is renewed for a third season, but without Amber. I don't see how MTV can continue to pay her and to profit from her abusive ways.