Friday, October 2, 2009

The Sophisticate's Guide to Modern English Usage: Part One

"Technically that's correct": 1. "That's correct, but I don't want to admit it." 2. "That's correct, but don't make me explain why."

"Bourgeois" (when used in a sentence, non-satirically): 1. "I need to grow up."

"That's true of most people, but there are exceptions": 1. And the exception is me.

"You know me, I'm not usually like that": 1. I'm always like that.

"When I lived in [European city]": "When I did a school-sponsored, study abroad trip to [European city]."

"I like him as a person, but...": 1. I hate him.

"Aspects" (when used in written English): 1. "I have a weak vocabulary."

"Facets": 1. See, Aspects.

"Well...": 1. "No."


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