Commercial Competition

Hello readers. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I was scared off from blogging for a bit and then I was busy studying for the Texas bar.

Now things are turning around! I would like to share a link with you to a commercial the Husband and I made and have entered into a competition sponsored by the state bar. (I apologize to my readers who are also my facebook friends for posting this twice).

If you view the commercial, you could be helping us win the "People's Choice" award in the contest (each view equals a vote). That means you would be helping hungry law school graduates afford groceries! Thanks in advance!

Here is the link to our commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tYKJv6jyWs

Schadenfreude Project: Jobs That Have Rejected Me, Part 1

The Schadenfreude Project

I am an unemployed recent law school graduate. I would like to embarrass myself by sharing with you the many jobs I have recently applied to:

1. Starbucks barista

I thought to myself, "Hey, I'm allergic to coffee, milk, and chocolate, I'd better start whipping up some mochas," so I applied for a job at a Starbucks within walking distance. Never heard back.

2. Starbucks shift manager

Why not? I have a JD. I can probably manage a team of high school kids, right? Wrong. Never heard back.

3. Starbucks barista at a different location

I decided to cast a wider net so I applied to the Starbucks a short drive from my place. I thought my chances were better at this one, because I have a connection. My aunt is kind of a big deal at this Starbucks. When I used to go through the drive through lane for my tall decaff soy latte no whip (before I realized that there is no point to this dairy-less, caffeine-free, anemic beverage), I was regularly asked, "Are you Susan's niece?!" I guess even my networking with famous family members didn't pay off. Never heard back.

4. Starbucks shift manager at a different location

Again, why not? Plus, I'm Susan's niece!

5. Petite catalog model

I'm petite. I like catalogs -- but I'm not a model, not even in Cleveland (4:44).

6. Textbook editor

I thought that my prior experience editing and proofreading textbooks might qualify me to edit and proofread textbooks. Never heard back.

7. SAT tutor

Seriously, guys. I have been a teacher and a tutor before. I did OK on the SAT. Guys? Guys? Never heard back.

8. Focus group member

I can focus! I would like $75 for talking about the economy for an hour -- but I guess my thoughts aren't worth that much. Poorly punctuated and randomly cApitaLized Craig's List posting, you let me down. Never heard back.



Please feel free to comment below with your own embarrassing job application stories. You can even post anonymously.


(Starbucks logo reproduced without permission.)

Pioneer Woman Light

Howdy.

It's been a long time since my last post. In that time, my life got a whole lot quirkier. I graduated from law school and moved across the country. For now, I'm living in a quaint town in Texas in my parents' condo while my parents relax by the lake in Michigan.

My parents' condo is on the market, so I live out of a suitcase that I hide in the closet every day. It's a bit like living in the model home in Arrested Development.

I'm also funemployed, so I'm looking for work anywhere I can find it. Meanwhile, I'm still a student; I'm halfway through a 40-hour course in mediation.

The Fiance is as wonderful as ever. We are getting married --back across the country -- on August 14th. There is still a lot to do between now and then, but it's (almost) all good stuff.

As for the cooking, although the Fiance and I subsisted entirely on Starbucks and frozen food in the week leading up to our big move, I've still got a few recipe reviews up my sleeve. I'm currently experimenting with using the condo's terrace as a warming oven. Plus the big move should give me some inspiration for new recipes. Just call me the Pioneer Woman Light.


(Photo of quaint Texas town street by the Fiance. Reproduced with permission).

I'm Feeling All Growed Up

Because today I bought a quackulator.

Cookies and Taxes

I just sat down to have a delicious dinner of cookies and milk, a propensity I share with my grandmother and Santa Claus.

I have been studying Federal Income Taxation for hours. My studying consists of me slogging through tax computation problems, getting them wrong, then trying to figure out why.

I opened a box of Pepperidge Farm "Chocolate Cookie Collection." Dripping, chocolately script on the box declared "Seven varieties of pure chocolate indulgence!" But, there were eight small compartments, each with four cookies.

"Thirty-four," said my tax-toiling brain. "I mean, thirty two. I would've gotten it. I'll have a calculator for the exam."

"Right," I said back. "But there are only supposed be to seven varieties. There are eight compartments. I think I got some extra cookies."

I squinted at the pictures of the cookie varieties on the side panel and let my brain try to make sense of it. It read:

"Except as otherwise provided in this side panel, for purposes of this assortment, the term "cookie" shall not exclude, but is not limited to, the following items:

1. Double Chocolate Milano;
2. Lisbon;
3. Tahiti;
4. Geneva;
a) in taxable years subsequent to 2009, the tax code shall recognize that the "Geneva," defined as any cookie, which is both
i) rich chocolate, and
ii) covered in crunchy pecans
is a sub-optimal cookie due to the presence of nuts. It will be subject to an ACC (average cookie consumption) phaseout for taxpayers whose ACC exceeds the threshold amount as defined by the Treasury Department of 50 cookies per annum and a 1/3 phaseout of the phaseout for taxpapers whose ACC exceeds 100 cookies per annum (unless said taxpaper is a qualified dependent, in which case the threshold ACC is 365 cookies per annum).
5. Orleans;
6. Black and White Milano;
-Cross Reference Reg. 350
7. Dark Chocolate Bordeaux;

Reg. 350
Some taxpayers have complained that receipt of the Black and White Milano was a sham transaction, as the Black and White Milano is simply a Double Chocolate Milano sandwich cookie without the chocolate holding the two pieces together. Normally loathe to look into the terms of an arms-length transaction, courts have held that the Black and White Milano is an embarrassment of a cookie, second only to the Geneva. Taxpayers are entitled to deduct the cost of cookie boxes which contain both the Black and White Milano and the Geneva, to the extent that the aggregated cost of these boxes in one year exceeds 7.5% of the taxpaper's adjusted gross income."

"Thanks," I said to my brain. "That was really thorough. But I still don't know which cookie isn't supposed to be here."

So I took out one of each cookie and I lined them up in order, according to the array on the side panel.

Sure enough, I have eight Genevas.

I'm applying for a refund.

Final exams start this week...

...so I may be a little quiet.

My responsibilities are:

1. Law and Poverty (20 page paper, done)
2. Museums and Collecting (15 pages into a paper that will be between 20 and 30)
3. Canon Law of Marriage Exam (Saturday. My mom didn't believe me when I told her that. "But it's the weekend!" Haha).
4. Trusts and Estates Exam (I'll worry about that sometime in the intermediate future, because all I can think about write now is...)
5. Federal Income Tax Exam (Friday. PANIC).

Oh, and did I mention that The Great Cooking Competition is Thursday, the day before law school exams begin? I smell a rat....

I Dreamt that I Had to Answer the Following Exam Question

Question: How have your three years at Notre Dame Law School compared to your expectations? You may consider the effects of three years of unbroken law school construction, reduced morale from three losing football seasons, and the health of the legal job market in your answer. Extra credit will be given for an in-depth discussion of the effects of administrative instability, with particular emphasis on staff turnover in the Career Services Office. To aid in your discussion of curriculum, please find attached the course offerings for Spring 2010.

A Poem ...

... about Dependent Relative Revocation

"The Doctrine of Second Best"
By E. E. Watkins

Second will

Not like the first

Could get better

But it's going to get worse

That's all I've got for tonight.

New Law School Slogan

A new, better slogan for Trusts and Estates has occurred to me.

Trusts and Estates: Where there's a will...

Love it. But that's the only thing I love about Trusts and Estates.

True Life: I'm an Undercover Law Student

I am a law student. But I'm taking a class outside the law school.

There are some undegrads in my class. And I know them by their piercings.

On the first day of my liberal arts class, the professor explained his grading scheme. "Your final paper will count for 65% of your grade, but don't hold me to that in a mathematical sense," he chuckled.

"NOT IN A MATHEMATICAL SENSE?" I demanded of the Boyfriend later.
"What other sense is there?" the Boyfriend mused.
"It's on the syllabus! 65% for this, 35% for that, you know? I thought the syllabus was supposed to be a contract between you and the professor!"
"Well, did you tell him that any ambiguities in the contract will be construed against the drafting party?" the Boyfriend asked, deadpan as usual.
There was a moment of silence.
"No," I sulked.

It's not that law school is better. It's much worse, I promise. But it is different. Before my Business Associations class even began, the professor supplied all of the students with an explanation of his grading policy.

It was five pages long.

In my liberal arts class, we sit in a circle. The professor starts class by asking, "So what did you think of the readings?" We talk about a few articles or chapters from books for an hour and fifteen minutes. Students raise their hands when they want to talk. Often people don't reference the reading in their comments; they just share a personal experience. Phrases I've heard in class include "I have love in my heart" and "that's a sweet concept." The girl who sits next to me takes notes with her left hand, notebook turned perfectly sideways on the paper, her hand crawling up and down the page, and the words coming out sideways.

A typical law school class takes place in a cavernous lecture hall. The students sit at long, semi-circular tables, cowering behind their laptops. The professor wears a suit and strikes fear into the hearts of his listeners by consulting a seating chart or a class list to choose students at random to explain the day's material. As the lecture streams out of the professor, it is transformed into a cacophony of staccato clicks. This is the sound of the frantic, competitive effort to record every word. Someday these words will appear on the exam. And the exam is worth 100% of your grade.

In a mathematical sense.




(Image reproduced without permission from images.com).

Law School Slogans

I like to make up slogans for law school subjects. Here are a few:

The Constitution: I only read it for the Articles.

Property: I'm going to OWN this class.

Labor Law: It's a lot of work.

Canon Law: Then why don't you marry it?

Will's Trusts and Estates: Shakespeare and his Legacy

Federal Income Tax: Cracking the code

Museums and Collecting: That's a Relief

Remedies: Worse than the Disease

International Law: International Quoi?

Accounting for Lawyers: A-one, a-two, a-three

Hope you enjoyed them!