Is MTV complicit in the abusive relationships it documents?

I love MTV, especially its reality programming. Shows like "True Life" and "Teen Mom" provide fascinating glimpses into varied American lifestyles. I cried my eyes out this Tuesday during "Teen Mom" when young parents Caitlynn and Tyler called their daughter, for whom they chose adoption, on her first birthday and heard her playing in the background. It was heartbreaking. It was honest. And it was beautiful. It was all the stuff that great reality tv show moments are made of.

Lately, though, I've noticed a disturbing trend in some of my favorite MTV reality shows.

Remember the "slap heard 'round the world?" It was 1998 and Real World: Seattle cast mate Stephen slapped his co-star Irene in the face. The incident caused a media firestorm. Questions were raised about the appropriateness of airing the footage. Some suggested that MTV was complicit in the incident by creating an environment that encouraged outrageous behavior. Together the cast mates and production decided that Stephen could remain on the show, provided he agreed to undergo anger management counseling.

Over ten years later, the idea of a single televised slap causing such a response seems quaint. Today Stephen probably wouldn't have to worry about getting kicked off his show -- he might even get a spin-off.

Last week Real World: New Orleans cast member Jemmye punched her pseudo-boyfriend Knight in the face. She PUNCHED him. In the FACE. Jemmye had been pushed to her limits by weeks of misogynistic and -- in my opinion -- abusive vitriol from Knight. Neither the punch nor the constant verbal abuse elicited a reaction from MTV's production staff.

On season one of MTV's documentary series "Teen Mom," Amber Portwood choked, shoved, and slapped her fiance Gary Shirley during a heated argument in front of their infant daughter. The incident was correctly labeled as domestic violence by Dr. Drew Pinsky during the season one reunion. Amber was then re-hired for a second season of the show. She continues to be paid by MTV and each week her anger at her fiance and child appears to mount. So far on season two, Amber has menaced Gary with a closed fist and suggested that she will begin disciplining their now two-year-old daughter by slapping her hands.

"Teen Mom" seems to have glossed over numerous assaults on cast member Farrah Abraham by her own mom, Debra. Even though Debra struck Farrah in the face during an argument on "Sixteen and Pregnant," the predecessor show to "Teen Mom," Debra was asked back and has now appeared on two seasons of "Teen Mom." She is undoubtedly still receiving appearance fees from MTV. In the hiatus between filming the two seasons of "Teen Mom," Debra attacked Farrah again, this time splitting her lip. The police were called to the scene and Debra menaced the police officer with knives.

How are Amber and Debra still paid to be on tv? Why didn't Dr. Drew confront Debra about her violence on the season one reunion? Is it enough to slap a public service announcement at the end of an episode (as was the case with Snooki's punch) while still using the act of violence as a featured part of the show (again: Snooki's punch)? At what point does MTV become complicit in the abusive relationships it documents?

The Bachelor: Second Rose Theory

I have a theory about the Bachelor: whichever lucky girl receives the second rose at the rose ceremony with the final three will be the winner.

The first girl to get a rose seems to be sailing through to the finale and maybe into the heart of the Bachelor. Her fan base feels confident. These fans are being set up for a fall by the producers. "I can't believe he didn't pick her in the end!"

The second girl to get a rose seems to be in jeopardy. Her fan base cringes after the first rose is given out. Who will get the last remaining rose? When her name is called, the fans breathe a sigh of relief. The producers have injected just enough tension. When this second girl is ultimately chosen, it will feel like a come-from behind victory, a fairy tale ending.

I'm putting together some data by sorting through Television Without Pity recaps, but if any readers know of a faster way to find this information, please let me know.

So far, of ten seasons of the Bachelor and Bachelorette that I've analyzed, my "Second Rose" theory correctly predicts the winner seven times.

And Vienna got the second rose tonight.

Just saying.

Reality TV Update

I noticed that MTV has changed the wording of its "Jersey Shore" promo to replace a potentially offensive term. Discussed here.

Also: Tiger Woods was dating a former "Tool Academy" girl? Huh.

Ugh, how disappointing to see Johnny Bananas defeat Dunbar on the "The Ruins" tonight. Worse yet was seeing him turn on Susie. I wish there were a way that Susie and the Challengers could both win.

True Life: True Life!

Last night I caught an episode of MTV's "True Life" called "I Can't Leave my Boyfriend."

The episode featured 20-year-old Grace and her attempts to leave her 41-year-old boyfriend, Hangman (pictured).

Before writing this review, I found Hangman's blog and read his reaction to the episode. He went through familiar motions: he referenced the cutting room floor, defended the parts of his relationship with Grace that viewers didn't get to see, and finally had the usual compliments for "haters."

Then I asked myself: what could possibly be on the cutting room floor that would change how I felt about this relationship? What that I "didn't get to see" would make this better?

So, without further ado, my ten favorite moments of this episode and Hangman's blog:

1. Grace describing Hangman as "10 out of 10 good-looking."
2. Grace, sick of staying in and eating take-out Chinese food every night, implores Hangman to take her on a real date. He takes her to the Chinese restaurant that they order from every night.
3. At the restaurant, Hangman orders for her.
4. Grace: I may move back to Pennsylvania. Hangman: No.
5. Grace talking in baby-talk constantly.
6. On Hangman's 41st birthday, Grace gets to meet his mom for the first time. I got to discover that Hangman still lives at home.
7. Hangman: Top hats run in my family.
8. This over-capitalized gem from Hangman's blog: "Fortunately my artwork is admired and I have an International reputation. My work is shown in galleries from here to across the Seas [...] Some people might even go so far to say that I am the coolest person they have ever met."
9. Despite complaining bitterly about the reality TV process, you can find Hangman, not just on "True Life," but auditioning for "I Want to Work for Diddy." Sorry, once you have actively sought out the reality TV path, you lose the right to complain about it.
10. On his blog, Hangman asks his "fans" to "pray for a spin-off."

I found some videos from the episode here.

My Ten Most Hated Reality TV Characters, Part 2 of 2

5. Spencer Pratt from MTV's "The Hills." What more can be said about Spencer?
Worst moment: Every moment.

4. Charla from Fox's "Paradise Hotel." Poor, awkward Dave loved vain, empty-headed Charla with a love too pure for this show. And speaking of poor Dave, in a cruel twist of fortune, all of Dave's masterful planning managed to land Charla in the final two with the option to split her cash prize with Dave -- an option she declined. Dave went home broke and broken-hearted.
Worst moment: "Pinkie swear is my middle name," the nonsensical assurance Charla used to secure her alliance with Dave. Time for a new middle name, I guess.

3. Wendy Pepper from Bravo's "Project Runway." No one told Wendy that she was on a competition reality show based on talent. She schemed her way through the first season of this show, attempting to form an alliance with her apartment-mates (an alliance! on Project Runway!), to exploit the weaknesses of her fellow competitors (remember the chilling scene between Wendy and Vanessa in the laundry room?), and outright lied and sabotaged. If she had spent less time sabotaging and more time making nice clothes, she might have stood a chance and gotten a makeover out of the deal (see above photo).
Worst moment: Encouraging her five-year-old daughter to lie to Tim Gunn.

2. Omarosa from NBC's "The Apprentice." Omarosa falls into the Spencer Pratt category of "what more can be said?" Her antics are already legendary. I'll just say that she -- like Danielle Staub -- refuses to accept consequences or to look at herself or her actions in an objective light.
Worst moment: How to choose from among the following gems: lying about her experience working for the White House, losing Jessica Simpson and then lying about that, or lying about having a concussion in order to avoid working on a show all about ... working?

1. Arian from VH1's "Tough Love." On a show where makeovers and luxurious dates are provided to eight regular women in exchange for their willingness to play along with innocuous dating rules ("be polite," "be yourself,"), this bad-girl refused to play nice. Her shocking and self-destructive behavior got her in trouble with the show's host, match-maker Steve Ward. When he rightly told her that her aggressively promiscous behavior could someday land her in a dangerous situation with a stranger, she decided it was time to start throwing suitcases down the stairs.
Worst moment: When the girls' families visited, Arian bad-mouthed Steve to her mother repeatedly, while defending her own, spiraling-out-of-control actions. Steve was later in the uncomfortable position of having to tell Arian's mother some of her daughter's recent misbehavior. Steve used adult terminology for some of Arian's antics and both mother and daugther dissolved into giggles, leaving Steve with nothing to do but walk away in disgust.

My Ten Most Hated Reality TV Characters, Part 1 of 2

In honor of the premiere of VH1's "Tough Love" Season Two, I am presenting a list of my ten most hated reality tv characters.

10. Antonio Sabato, Jr. from VH1's "My Antonio." Reality dating shows work when you are rooting for likeable people to get together. They also work as a joke when the "prize" is Flava Flav. They don't work when the prize is allegedly likeable, but actually a nauseating joke in the form of Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Worst moment: Every time he looked into the camera and smugly announced, "And the winner...will receive...a date....with ME."

9. Sister Patterson (aka New York's mom) from VH1's "Flavor of Love" Seasons One and Two and "I Love New York" Seasons One and Two, and maybe some other New York spin-offs but who can keep track? A sure way to land on my most hated list is to trick me into liking you in the beginning, only to go completely off the rails later. Sister Patterson first appeared as a voice of reason, responding to her daughter's Stockholm Syndrome-fueled cries of "I love that man!" by cutting to the point: "That is not a man." Later, though, Sister Patterson devolved into madness, screaming obscenities at anyone in earshot, belittling her husband with enough fierceness to make Kate Gosselin cringe, and eventually coming to blows with the man himself, Flava Flav.
Worst moment: Pretending to have been diagnosed with a serious medical condition "so rare they don't have a name for it yet" in order to persuade her daughter to leave the show. It didn't work.

8. Evan Starkman, veteran of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge," currently appearing on "The Ruins." There is nothing good about Evan. He's stupid. He's a bully. He mistakes being a big guy with being a good competitor. Worst of all, I couldn't figure out what original Real World or Road Rules season he was on. He seemed to just appear out of nowhere on the challenge circuit, spewing arrogance. Sure enough, Wikipedia let me know that he was never on a real season, instead he was brought in to the challenges through the "Fresh Meat" season. Spare me.
Worst moment: As a drunk and out of control Tonya begins to attack Veronica, Wes leaps from the couch to seperate them. Evan holds Wes back, prioritizing his own ambitions in the game, which probably included the elimination of both Tonya and Veronica for fighting, over the safety of his teammates.

7. Matt Roloff from TLC's "Little People, Big World." I feel guilty writing this entry because Matt Roloff has a charming family, particularly his long-suffering wife Amy. But, upon reflection, I was forced to ask myself, who should feel more guilty? And the answer is Matt Roloff, for subjecting his family, friends, and guests to the dangerous products of his misguided ambitions. Watching the episode where his young son Jacob was nearly crushed to death by Matt's ill-advised trebuchet sent me once again to Wikipedia. I wanted to read about Matt Roloff to get a clue as to how any parent could have such terrible judgment. Then I read about Mattt's multiple DUIs. And I have nothing else to say about him.
Worst moment: Trebuchet.

6. Danielle Staub from Bravo's "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Another good way to land on this list is to refuse to accept the consequences of your actions. Danielle, a former model, associated with members of a drug cartel, becoming an accessory to multiple drug and kidnapping charges. She was arrested. Charges against her were dropped, however, assumedly as part of a plea bargain. In Danielle-world, though, a plea bargain equals an exoneration. So don't question her judgment or her appropriateness as a babysitter -- or Danielle will accuse you of being a vicious gossip. After her arrest Danielle went on to a lead a promiscuous life, was engaged nineteen times by her own count, and had two daughters. Even her daughters have so little respect for their mother's wild lifestyle that when Danielle turns to her teen-aged daughter in frustration and asks why all the men in her life leave her, the daughter replies "they only want you for the goodies." Out of the mouth of babes.
Worst moment: "I need to have tables thrown at me because (searches desperately for a non-incriminating way to finish her own sentence), because... (searches some more) because I had a book written about me?"