Real Housewife of Texas

Today was my first day as a Real Housewife of Texas. The fiance went to his first day of work and I tried to be a good homemaker.

First, I made cookies. They turned out horribly. Then ants attacked them.

Next, I tried to work out. I ran for three minutes using the Wii fit and nearly collapsed.

In the afternoon, I helped my aunt on a walk-through of my parents' new house. The broker referred to me as "the buyers' adult daughter."

Last, I planned to have dinner ready by the time the Fiance came over after work. I burned the potatoes (water here evaporates so much faster than back home!) but I used the terrace as a warming oven for the buttered rosemary rolls, which worked famously.

1 for 3 in the cooking department. Better luck tomorrow.

Cookies and Taxes

I just sat down to have a delicious dinner of cookies and milk, a propensity I share with my grandmother and Santa Claus.

I have been studying Federal Income Taxation for hours. My studying consists of me slogging through tax computation problems, getting them wrong, then trying to figure out why.

I opened a box of Pepperidge Farm "Chocolate Cookie Collection." Dripping, chocolately script on the box declared "Seven varieties of pure chocolate indulgence!" But, there were eight small compartments, each with four cookies.

"Thirty-four," said my tax-toiling brain. "I mean, thirty two. I would've gotten it. I'll have a calculator for the exam."

"Right," I said back. "But there are only supposed be to seven varieties. There are eight compartments. I think I got some extra cookies."

I squinted at the pictures of the cookie varieties on the side panel and let my brain try to make sense of it. It read:

"Except as otherwise provided in this side panel, for purposes of this assortment, the term "cookie" shall not exclude, but is not limited to, the following items:

1. Double Chocolate Milano;
2. Lisbon;
3. Tahiti;
4. Geneva;
a) in taxable years subsequent to 2009, the tax code shall recognize that the "Geneva," defined as any cookie, which is both
i) rich chocolate, and
ii) covered in crunchy pecans
is a sub-optimal cookie due to the presence of nuts. It will be subject to an ACC (average cookie consumption) phaseout for taxpayers whose ACC exceeds the threshold amount as defined by the Treasury Department of 50 cookies per annum and a 1/3 phaseout of the phaseout for taxpapers whose ACC exceeds 100 cookies per annum (unless said taxpaper is a qualified dependent, in which case the threshold ACC is 365 cookies per annum).
5. Orleans;
6. Black and White Milano;
-Cross Reference Reg. 350
7. Dark Chocolate Bordeaux;

Reg. 350
Some taxpayers have complained that receipt of the Black and White Milano was a sham transaction, as the Black and White Milano is simply a Double Chocolate Milano sandwich cookie without the chocolate holding the two pieces together. Normally loathe to look into the terms of an arms-length transaction, courts have held that the Black and White Milano is an embarrassment of a cookie, second only to the Geneva. Taxpayers are entitled to deduct the cost of cookie boxes which contain both the Black and White Milano and the Geneva, to the extent that the aggregated cost of these boxes in one year exceeds 7.5% of the taxpaper's adjusted gross income."

"Thanks," I said to my brain. "That was really thorough. But I still don't know which cookie isn't supposed to be here."

So I took out one of each cookie and I lined them up in order, according to the array on the side panel.

Sure enough, I have eight Genevas.

I'm applying for a refund.

Great Cookie Competition: Chocolate Peppermint Slices

This recipe came from a British dessert cookbook, "Cakes and Bakes" from Parragon Publishing, 2007. The flavors were delicious, but the execution left something to be desired. My modifications to the recipe and my questions about what went wrong appear in brackets.

Here is the recipe:

4 tbsp. butter, plus extra for greasing
1/4 superfine sugar
3/4 all purpose flour
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 tsp peppermint extract
6 oz semisweet chocolate
1-2 tbsp warm water

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and line an 8 x 12 inch jelly roll pan with parchment paper. [I didn't have an 8 x 12 inch pan, so I used an 8 x 8. The base was still much too small to cover the surface area of the pan. Hmm. Suspicious]. Whisk the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. [Could it really mean whisk? I used a mixer]. Stir in the flour until the mixture binds together. [The mixture would not bind together, so I heated up the butter and used a little water].

Knead the the mixture to form a smooth dough, then press into the prepared pan. [Knead? Not so much. I did my best to squash the mixture together, relying mostly on the heat from my hands, then squashed it into the pan. Squashed. That's an industry term]. Prick the surface all over with a fork. Bake the base in the preheated oven for 10-15 minutes, until lightly browned and just firm to the touch. Let cool in the pan.

Stir the confectioners' sugar into a bowl. Gradually add the water, then add the peppermint extract. [I added a few drops of green food coloring and some vanilla extract. You can never have too much vanilla!] Spread the frosting over the base, then let set.

Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over gently simmering water, then spread over the peppermint frosting. Let set, then cut into slices.


The recipe turned out delicious, but the base was more like a cracker than a cookie and there wasn't enough of it to fill the pan. Any thoughts on what I could do differently?


(Image of what I WISH my cookies looked like reproduced without permission from Auntyyochana.blogspot.com).

Great Cookie Competition: Chocolate Crackle Cookies

Here is the recipe for the delicious cookies from Roomie's mom. As Roomie rightly pointed out, these cookies are half-cookie, half-brownie.


Chocolate Crackle Cookies


Ingredients:

4 1-oz blocks unsweetened chocolate

½ cup vegetable oil

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups flour

2 tsp double-acting baking powder

½ tsp salt

Powdered sugar

Preparation:

1. Heat oven to 350° F. Melt chocolate. In a large bowl, combine melted chocolate, oil, sugar, and eggs; mix well. Add vanilla; mix well. Add flour, double-acting baking powder, and salt; mix well.



2. Chill dough for several hours (overnight is best).



3. Shape dough into small balls and roll in powdered sugar. Place on greased cookie sheet and bake at 350° F for 12 minutes.

Article of the Day: September 13, 2009

I like to buy shoes from Zappos. Or, at least, I like the idea of it. I didn't know that anyone thought Zappos was a cult.

Very busy weekend. But since no one wants to read about how much writing, editing, and reading I've done this weekend, instead I will tell you:

I am back in the game!! This weekend I made a delicious "Chocolate Crackle Cookie" recipe provided by the Roomie's mom. Also, the Boyfriend revised the lemon meringue recipe from last week. This time we used a glass bowl instead of plastic, added cream of tartar to the recipe, adjusted the oven temperature and cooking time, and let the cookies sit in the oven overnight. Success!

The cookies are so good that now we are out of milk.

Sunday Night

Article of the Day: Harry Potter wins over some of his religious critics.

Read about it here.

Great Cookie Competition: Lemon Kisses

My kitchen is starting to look like a cookie graveyard. Lemon meringue recipe from Sandra Lee's "Semi-Homemade" cookbook was a bust. Per the madre's suggestion, I bought an oven thermometer today and discovered that my apartment oven runs 25 degrees hotter than it should. Well, as my professor-boss says in echoing tones, "Onward!"

Upcoming Blog Feature: The "You Pick Two" Review

I love Panera. The Boyfriend and I eat dinner at Panera at least once a week. Before I starting eating at Panera so much, I looked like this:



And now I look like this:



Ok, Panera won't really turn you into Keira Knightley. Nor can I claim any medical benefits, like Jared can for Subway. "But, actually," as an Austrian friend of mine used to say, Subway Jared and I are opposites. Where he needed a weight-loss diet, I just need a food-in diet. That's where Panera comes in. The food is delicious and always appeals to me.

One of the best things about Panera is the "You Pick Two" option, where you can order any two of the following: a half sandwich, a cup of soup, or a salad. Think of all the delicious combinations!

Actually, you can relax, because I will think of them for you and review them here. So, as another friend says, "watch this space."

Back to school tomorrow after a lovely weekend.




(Image of Keira Knightley reproduced without permission from blogs.phillynews.com).

The Great Cookie Competition: Peanut Butter Cup Bars

I’m writing this entry in the midst of the carnival-like atmosphere that accompanies game days at Notre Dame. The Roomie is rushing around and yelling into her phone (“a gas grill will NOT fit in my car!”).

“Are you blogging about me?” she yells. She is pivoting in front of the mirror.
“I’m blogging about the bars!” I yell back.
“The bars?” Her face appears around the corner. A freshly-applied ND logo glistens on her cheek.
There is a shrill whistle from the kitchen.
“That’s the water for my coffee,” says the Roomie, startled.
I am trapped under my laptop. The Roomie moves her hands as though she is being attacked by a bee. The Boyfriend gets up. He will make the coffee. Magically the French press will be cleaned.
The Roomie turns back to me. “I went to Finnegan’s last night.”
I blink.
“It was really lame, though,” she concludes.
I stare at her for awhile. She stares at me. Realization dawns.
“Different kind of bars.”

Anyway.

The cookie baking contest happens every December. Two years ago, my white chocolate almond cookies didn’t place at all. Last year my lemon cookies came in second. This is my year!

Despite my momentum, I am taking nothing for granted. I am going to test out many new cookie recipes and perfect some old favorites. I will try to do one batch every weekend, until my school work gets in the way.

Yesterday I made Peanut Butter Cup Bars from the “College Cookbook” given to me by my mom. This book yielded the award-winning lemon cookie recipe. The commentary accompanying the recipe glibly announced, “They are super-easy to make.”

Super-easy.

I must have done something wrong. Incorporating all of the ingredients was a workout. Having achieved my target heart rate just mixing everything together, I wasn’t going to let my fickle, apartment oven ruin my hard work, so my Roomie and I stood guard over the bars, checking them often.

Reader, I burned them.

I won’t blame the deluge of girl talk going on as Roomie and I gossiped in the heat seeping from the oven, because we are proficient in both girl talk and baking. So I blame the oven, the heat-seeping, eavesdropping oven.

I may try this recipe again. The bars taste pretty good, as the Boyfriend kindly pointed out, if you scrape the burned bottom layer off.

It's still my year.



(Photo reproduced without permission from stylishcusine.com).