Funny!

This post will just be a funny forward sent to me by a friend.

It's funny. Really.

And if you wanted something more original, you can blame "The True Adventures of True Life" which is on TV right now.

And also the homework I still have for tomorrow.

But mostly "True Life."

It's amazing.

Herewith, the forward:

* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I
can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.

* Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.

* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that
you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking
back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture
and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area
thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.

* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently
I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I
first saw it.

* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm
trying to finish a text

* Was learning cursive really necessary?

* Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have
nothing else to say".

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.

* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street
smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers!

* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.
Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.

* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get
in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good stories

* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that
their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who
just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures?
Don't mind if I do!

* If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their
offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

* Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room
has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so
incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this
shouldn't be a problem....

* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing
anything productive for the rest of the day.

* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
don't want to have to restart my collection.

* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure
you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper
that I swear I did not make any changes to.

* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of
people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but
will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we
weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get
up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally
for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly
certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then
not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

* When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning
something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some
light internet stalking.

* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on
shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
cyclists.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I
know not to answer when they call.

* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know
what do to with it.

* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the
Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

* I wonder if cops ever hate at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.